Red: Into the Dark Read online

  As soon as he discovers that I’m the sole benefactor of grandmother’s estate, he’s going to get me.

  My wolf’s fur sticks up and he snarls, almost unintentionally, and I smile. I’m not afraid of him. I feel safe with him. He makes me feel a little less lonely and a little more human.

  “I’m not sure what to do,” I admit. “I…you know…” I can’t say it. I don’t want to say that I think I’m going to die or that I think my brother is going to make it hurt. One minute I feel safe: the next, I’m sure he’s hiding behind a tree or something.

  “Let’s just find some food, okay, Wolfy?” I get up and keep walking. Wolfy growls slightly, but follows closely behind. After a few minutes, his ears go flat and he makes a low, sharp sound. I ignore him and take a step forward, but Wolfy jumps in front of me on the path and bares his teeth.

  Message received.

  My mouth goes dry and I stand perfectly still. He’s not going to hurt me. I get that. I know it, but why doesn’t he want me to go forward?

  He turns and takes a few steps forward, then glances back at me. Is he trying to see if I’m standing still? I nod, slightly. No, I won’t try to follow him. No, I don’t know what’s going on.

  No, I don’t know why my new pet is acting like the wild animal he is.

  Wolfy runs off and I turn back to the cabin.

  So much for dinner.

  **

  I finish masturbating and lay in my bed, exhausted. All I do these days is masturbate, but it helps me relax. It helps me calm down enough to sleep. Insomnia is something I’ve never dealt with before this week. Now it’s a constant companion.

  Part of me is afraid to fall asleep. As soon as my eyes close, my brain runs with horrible visions of my grandmother and brother. In my dreams, I run and run and run, but I can never run far enough or fast enough.

  Somehow, he always finds me.

  Now, as I lay in bed, I begin to feel waves of exhaustion begin to take over. Maybe I’ll actually be able to pass out fairly quickly. It’s only mid-afternoon, but who cares? I don’t have anything better to do or anywhere to go. I don’t have anyone to look after me.

  I don’t have anyone to care about me.

  It’s not like I’ve ever minded being alone before, but then, I’ve never been this isolated. Though I’m a nerd through-and-through, I’ve always had books. I’ve always had writing. I’ve always had coworkers and classmates and my grandma.

  I’ve always surrounded myself with people and characters and adventures. While I rarely let people get close to me and I have no best friend to speak of, I’m never entirely alone.

  And now I am.

  I close my eyes and will myself to fall asleep. Though I’m in the heart of the forest, the woods are noisy and loud.

  Could there be any more rabbits?

  That’s what I want to know.

  They’re loud and bouncy and run everywhere. I wish I had a way to catch one. I know exactly how to make rabbit stew. Everyone thinks the vegetables are the key, but really it’s the meat. You have to cut your meat correctly. You can’t be lazy or sloppy. The problem is that most cooks are in too much of a hurry, so they mess up even the best cuts of meat.

  And if you’re going to do poor cuts, why even bother?

  My mind continues to wander and I begin to slowly drift off into nap land, but then I’m wide awake. I hear a sound at the door and I jump. What the hell? Did an animal wander up?

  Is Wolfy back?

  I hop up and yank on my pants. Why I’m dressing myself to answer the door for an animal, I’m not sure, but I do it just the same.

  When I pull open the wooden door to the cabin, Wolfy is sitting on my porch. His head is cocked and I could swear he’s smelling my scent from where he’s at, but I shake the thought away. I’m imagining things.

  A memory of one of Grandma’s stories flashes in my head, but I push the thought away. She knew more about shifters than anyone else I’ve ever met. Me? Sometimes I still pretend I’m just imagining things.

  “Wolfy,” I say softly. “You came back.” He sits there, staring at me, and then he wags his tail. Could he look any cuter? I reach out and pat him on the head and he nuzzles me. “Guess Mr. Bossy isn’t so fussy anymore,” I murmur.

  Then Wolfy pulls back and trots to the steps where he has, apparently, brought me a present.

  Rabbits.

  He’s brought me rabbits.

  My stomach growls and I can’t stop the grin that covers my face.

  “You shouldn’t have,” I say, but I’m thrilled. I’m so hungry and I can’t wait to skin these beasts and start eating. “Thank you.” I wrap my arms around Wolfy and give him a huge hug, then pull away.

  “Let’s make supper.”

  **

  Time passes differently in the woods. Soon, I begin to get comfortable. Soon, I forget that I’m supposed to be hiding. Maybe I should try to leave, go to a new town, get a new identity. Maybe I should get a new job and start a new life. Maybe I shouldn’t be me anymore.

  Maybe I should be somebody else.

  I never expected to stay in the cabin long-term. I figured Jeffrey would find me and kill me or I’d have some epiphany of what I should do with my life, but that doesn’t happen.

  Instead, I settle into a strange, comfortable life with Wolfy by my side. I’ve never had a pet, but he’s an amazing companion. He’s soft and sweet and stays close to me every day. We run through the woods together and splash together in the creeks. We eat together every day. He hunts for me and I cook and together we make quite the pair.

  But something else has to happen, right?

  I shouldn’t be comfortable doing nothing with my life. I never really considered myself to be some sort of pioneer or homesteader. I’ve never been into prepping or apocalypse-anything, so the idea of living on my own in the woods should be terrifying.

  But it’s not.

  It’s comfortable.

  And then the storm comes.

  The rain begins falling and before I realize what’s happening, we’re caught in a torrential downpour.

  “Come on, Wolfy!” I yell, and race inside the cabin. He follows on my heels and I slam the door shut. I realize, with a start, that Wolfy has never been inside the cabin before. I’m not opposed to having a wolf or dog inside, but he’s always slept on the porch.

  I assumed he wanted to be outside.

  Now, though, I’m suddenly glad he’s inside with me. The windows rattle and I yank all the curtains closed. It’s dark inside the cabin, even with the lantern. The tiny one-room cabin wasn’t designed to withstand strong storms, and I wonder if the roof will be okay.

  “Man, I really hope the roof doesn’t leak,” I mutter. My clothes are wet so I strip out of them and hang them over a chair to dry. I only have a couple of outfits, but I mostly just wear the one. I’ve washed it in the creek a few times over the past few weeks, but it’s pretty gross at this point. Maybe I should just start hanging out naked.

  It’s not like anyone would see me.

  “What now, Wolfy?” I stare at him for a moment before grabbing a blanket off a shelf and wrapping it around him. “You look cold, poor boy,” I whisper, rubbing his back. He makes a little contented noise and curls up on the floor by the door, and I go to my bed.

  I climb in and yank the covers up to my neck.

  For the first time since I got to the cabin, I don’t need to play with myself to fall asleep. Something about having Wolfy around makes me feel safe.

  Something about this makes me feel like no matter what happens, I’m going to be okay.

  6.

  Nash

  I’ve never felt at home like this before.

  Red doesn’t owe me anything, but she makes me feel important. She makes me feel like I matter. She makes me feel like she’s happy just having me around.

  Part of me thinks that life in the pack must have really screwed me up if I’m so happy just playing pet to a human girl. Then again, life in the pack was always dramatic once Jeffrey came along.

  The former Alpha, the one we had growing up, always kept the wolves in line. We didn’t have huge numbers or anything like that, but we were a community. We were a family. Even after my parents died, I was part of the pack and there was nothing more to it. No one would have thought about kicking me out, making me leave, making me fend for myself just because I didn’t have a mom and dad.

  Instead, a single female wolf, Germaine, took in me and Elise. We ran with the rest of the cubs and she raised us as her own. She was a good mother to us: better than anyone I ever could have hoped for. She had been best friends with both my mother and Elise’s, and she mourned their deaths as we did.

  Germaine might not have had cubs of her own, but she did everything in her power to give me and Elise a good upbringing. She wanted the world for us. She wanted to give us everything she could. She wanted to make us strong and brave.

  I wonder what she’s doing now.

  When Elise died, I fled the pack because there was no way the Alpha wouldn’t kill me. He saw me that night, saw me with the blood. For all I know, he framed me for her murder and the whole pack is hunting me. I just don’t know.

  But I hope Germaine is okay.

  I hope he didn’t do anything to hurt her. She’s a tough wolf, but she’s getting older. Part of me worries that Jeffrey might harm her in order to hurt me, but I know Ryder wouldn’t let that happen.

  Before I left, I said goodbye to him and Thorn. They promised to give me updates when they could. We swore to come up with a way to take down the Alpha. Adrenaline and hope were running high when I left, though, and now?

  Now I’m lucky to make it through each day. I haven’t heard from Thorn in weeks. Maybe something happened to him. Maybe he’s just been busy. I don’t know.

  But with Red by my side, I know I can make it just a little bit longer. With her, I feel braver, stronger. I feel better. Red makes me feel like I can conquer the world if she’ll just smile at me a little more. That sweet, innocent smile is edged with fire and lust. I’ll do just about anything if it means she’ll look at me a little bit more.

  After the rainstorm, I started sleeping inside. I still haven’t told her I’m a shifter. I don’t know how at this point. When I started playing pet, I didn’t expect it to go on this long. I didn’t honestly think she would want to keep me around or that she’d have any interest in making me part of her home.

  That’s what the cabin has become to me: home.

  It’s become a symbol of hope in a time when I felt like quitting. It’s become a refuge, a beacon. Red is the sun in my sky and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. Even after such a short amount of time together, I know I can’t go back to the way life was before her.

  I have to take down the Alpha.

  I have to save her from her brother.

  I have to find a way to unite our futures and our lives because I can’t live without her.

  ***

  It feels like the rain has lasted for months, even though it’s only been a few days. Red found some paper and pens and has been sprawled across the bed drawing. Every so often, she’ll sit up and ask me what I think of something and I peek up from my spot in the middle of the floor to see what she made.

  She’s a damn good artist, if I do say so myself.

  The first picture she draws is of her grandmother. The second is of Grandma sitting on the porch at the cabin. The third? The two of us at the waterfall.

  That one is my favorite.

  I make a whining noise when I see it and nuzzle her leg. She laughs and slips to the floor, wrapping her arms around me.

  “Oh, Wolfy,” she murmurs. “What would I do without you?” She settles down and leans against the bed, still petting me. I decide to take a risk and crawl over her lap. She’s warm and sweet and smells like sunshine. I rest my head on my paws. My body is across her. Red just pets me.

  “I was so scared when I came here,” she tells me. “I was so scared, but you saved me. You know that, Wolfy?”

  The only thing ruining this moment is the damn name.

  Wolfy?

  She couldn’t get more unoriginal if she tried. Well, maybe if she tried. I try not to let it bother me, but I’ve always been Nash. Nothing but Nash. The nickname drives me nuts and I’m tempted to shift, roll over to look at her, and ask her to call me Wolfy to my face.

  How would she react?

  What would she do if I revealed myself to her as a shifter?

  Part of me thinks Red is strong. Part of me thinks she would be brave in the face of something so insane. Would she laugh and wrap her arms around me? Would she whisper that she hoped it would be true? Would she kiss me and call me hers?

  I don’t know, but I want to think so.

  There’s another part of me, a darker part, that thinks Red would not react well. This part of me worries she would see me and either run away or try to kill me. This part of me thinks Red would feel frightened, scared, and betrayed. Would she run off into the woods again, only to be lost forever? Would she go crazy? Would she feel like another person had let her down?

  I don’t know.

  She keeps talking, murmuring little sweet nothings, before she finally lets out a yawn. I climb off her lap and Red starts to take her clothes off. It’s not the first time I’ve seen her take off her clothes, but it’s no less exciting.

  Oh, she’s going to be upset when she finds out I’ve been oogling her this whole time.

  She places her clothes in a neat pile on the chair, then pats me one more time.

  “Bedtime for me,” she murmurs. Red slips under the covers on the bed and closes her eyes. I settle in the middle of the floor to guard the cabin. My eyes are on the door, but after a few minutes I hear the tell-tale shifting of her blankets, and I glance over.

  Sure enough, her hand is moving beneath the blanket and I can smell the scent of her arousal.

  Red’s masturbating, yet again. I’ve never met a human female who was this aroused all the time, but I can’t complain. I lay there silently as she finishes up. Red lets out a tiny little mewl as she comes and it’s all I can do to keep from shifting and claiming her as my own.

  Patience.

  I have to have patience.

  Only there’s no one as amazing as Red. She’s the one I want. Someday, someday the time will be right and I’ll tell her who I really am.

  I try not to imagine how horrible that conversation is going to go.

  “Hey, Red, sorry to be weird, but I’ve actually been a man this whole time!”

  Yeah, not so well, I imagine.

  Not so well indeed.

  7.

  Red

  I can't catch my breath.

  I stop and lean against a tree, telling myself that it's only for a minute, telling myself that if I just stop for one second, I'll be okay. I try to breathe, but it hurts. I hear the howls again, and I push away from the tree, the bark stinging my hand as I do.

  I keep running.

  My feet sound like cannons as they pound against the ground. My heavy breathing is labored, and I hope the person chasing me can’t hear very well. I won’t be hard to catch if his hearing is better than, oh, say an 80-year-old woman. Still, I run. I have to. If not for myself, than for Grandmother. She wouldn’t want to see me go this way. She wouldn’t want to see me go at all, I realize with a grim smile, but she especially wouldn’t want to see me go down as fodder for a murderer or a wild animal.

  I don’t know which is chasing me.

  I only know I have to keep moving.

  I'm basically running blind through the woods. I have no idea where I am anymore.

  My feet move on their own, pounding loudly against the ground. I can't decide whether my footsteps or my heartbeats sound louder right now. I only know that if I stop moving, I'll die, so I just won't stop moving.

  I wish I hadn't worn red. It shines in the darkness and I wonder if it lets them see me more easily. Then again, if it's really wolves that are chasing me, I'm guessing their sense of smell is even better than their sight. I could be completely naked and they'd still find me.

  It always comes down to this.

  My life has been full of mistakes and regrets, heartaches and pains. My world has been ripped from me and handed back in shreds. This is what I get.

  Part of me feels like this is what I deserve.

  I deserve to die at the hands of a pack of angry wolves. I deserve to have them rip me to shreds. I deserve this. I deserve it.

  The howls sound farther away and I slow my pace slightly, giving myself a moment to catch my breath. It's not much, but I'll take what I can get. I've never been so horrified in my entire life. I've never been so scared. I should have thought about the wolves. I should have thought about the animals that lurk in scary forests. I should have thought about those things and figured out a way to protect myself before I ran, but I didn't.

  For the millionth time, I feel like a stupid, stupid girl.

  If there were ever a picture of someone who could get nothing right, it would be me. Right here, right now. Just me.

  Makes-mistakes-Marcy. That’s what I am.

  Why did I wander so far from the path today? Why did I sneak out on my own? I should have waited for Wolfy to come with me. I should have woken him up, but I didn’t.

  For some reason, I just wanted to go on a walk on my own. I wanted to explore a little bit by myself. I wanted to clear my thoughts and my head and just relax for a little while.

  So I sneaked out of my cabin before my wolf could wake up, and now I’m being hunted.

  I hear a howl that sounds closer than the rest, and I take off running again. I’ve lost all sense of direction. I have no idea where the cabin is, where the waterfall is, where the path is. I’m running blind and I have a sinking feeling that it’s going to be the death of me.