Crossing the Line Read online

  Crossing the Line

  Anchored

  Sophie Stern

  Copyright © 2017 by Sophie Stern

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  For anyone who has ever felt tired of being strong

  You are brave

  And you are loved

  Odessa has been strong for as long as she can remember. When her mother died, she had to. She had to be brave for her little brothers and she had to do it with a smile on her face. She could never show weakness to anyone, but especially not to men. If you show weakness, people walk all over you. She learned this lesson the hard way.

  Now Odessa is a playful submissive at a sex club, but to her, being submissive isn’t about being weak. It’s about wielding power in a way she knows how to. It’s about being able to be brave and strong in a way she can’t be when she’s at work.

  But strength brings with it a price, and Odessa’s price is that her heart is damaged.

  When a man from her past comes waltzing back into her life, she isn’t sure what to do.

  Is Odessa brave enough to try again?

  Or is she still the scared little girl she always was?

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Epilogue

  Author

  Anchored

  Dragon’s Oath

  Chapter One

  Take Your Time

  1 Melody

  2 Melody

  Chapter 1

  Odessa

  “It’s you.”

  The words sound hollow on my lips.

  Mundane.

  I sound boring and uninteresting and just flat, but it’s been a long fucking night and right now? Right now I’m just tired. I’m tired of relationships and tired of dating and tired of everything. I just want a break and sometimes it seems like I just can’t catch one.

  Why is he here?

  It was only a matter of time before this man walked back into my life. I hadn’t been holding my breath, but I’d been waiting for it, I suppose. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but I’m still not ready.

  Not ready for him.

  Not ready for any of this.

  “And it’s you,” he says, sitting down next to me. He has a drink in his hand and when I glance at his wrist, I see that he’s wearing a bracelet. It’s a pink one: one that’s specific to this club. It means this guy isn’t drinking tonight. It means he’s not here to play.

  June, the owner of Anchored, runs this place with an iron fist. If you’re going to have alcohol, then you aren’t going to be touching people. BDSM is hard enough when you’re sober. Why add alcohol to the mix? Even one drink means your inhibitions are lower, which might sound like a good thing. When it comes to safety, though, a good Dom needs to be on top of things. Always.

  So why isn’t this guy playing tonight?

  Isn’t that the entire point of belonging to a sex club?

  Having fun?

  If you aren’t coming here to get busy with someone, to get something out of it, why even bother coming?

  I shake my head because that thought sounds stupid, even to me.

  I know there’s more to Anchored than meets the eye.

  I’ve been here for years, after all, and I’ve pretty much seen everything. Some couples come as a way to spice things up. Others just want to try something new. Sometimes people come here on their own or with friends because they want to try something they’ve never been brave enough to try before.

  Some people just want to figure out if this is what it actually takes to get themselves off.

  And then there’s Jasper.

  But I don’t know why the hell he’s here.

  Oh, I know why he’s at Anchored. He’s a Dom, after all, and he has his pick of the pretty submissives who hang around this place. Jasper can have any girl he wants, and he’s never had a hard time choosing. Selecting someone special has never been his problem. Jasper’s much too charming, much too good-looking for that.

  I just don’t know why he’s here, sitting with me, looking at me like I’m suddenly something special.

  And I don’t know why he’s here tonight, seeing as how he’s been gone for months.

  I don’t want him here.

  I don’t want to talk to him or even look at him because Jasper hurt me. Oh, it’s been awhile, and I should have moved on by now, but seeing him just makes the pain feel fresh.

  We spent a night together, long ago, and that was it. It was over. We haven’t spoken since, so why would Jasper approach me on Christmas? Out of all of the nights on the year, why this day? Why now?

  He couldn’t have picked a worse fucking night.

  “What do you want, Jasper?” My words sound harsher than I intend for them to. I’m tired. I’m so, so tired. I’m not just tired today: I’m tired of everything. I’m tired of the way things have been going.

  I’m tired of feeling alone.

  There was a point, a long time ago, when I thought I’d found a Dom who would be everything to me. I thought I’d found a Dom who would protect me, care for me. Love me. I thought the two of us had something special going on, but as it turns out, one of us was more serious than other. We had a break-up that wasn’t terrible, but that hurt me deeply, and I’ve been too much of a coward to try again.

  I haven’t tried in a very long time, and I don’t really want to try tonight.

  Not with Jasper.

  He’s a player, and I know what guys like him want.

  He wants to dominate me, to play with me. He wants to tie me up and hold me down. He wants to toy with my body and then with my heart. He might want to show me everything he has to offer, but that’s not what I want tonight. That’s not the kind of Dom I need.

  I’m not asking for a service Dom. I’m not asking for someone who just wants to make me come over and over. I’m not asking for someone who wants to worship my body. I don’t need a husband and I don’t need someone to treat me like a delicate flower.

  But I am asking for someone to adore me, and that’s not Jasper.

  It never will be.

  Jasper doesn’t bite my head off at my harsh words. I’m being rude, but he doesn’t even glare at me. Hell, his eyebrows don’t even lift. He just looks at me curiously, and then he lifts my chin with his finger.

  “Are you okay, Odessa?”

  “I’m fine.”

  A lie.

  It’s a bold one, too. A submissive should never lie. A Dom shouldn’t lie, either. No one should. Not here. Not at Anchored. There’s a time and a place for lying, but it’s not at a sex club where communication is everything. You should never play with someone you can’t trust to tell the truth. Hard limits are everything when it comes to safety and having fun at Anchored. The number one rule of BDSM is that you don’t lie.

  You never lie.

  Yet here I am.

  Lying.

  Jasper knows I’m not telling him the truth, but he doesn’t call me out. Instead, he just sits with me for a long time. The music is loud and the lights are low. The sounds and scents of sex and adventure are all around us, but somehow, right now, Jasper and I seem to be locked in our own little world.

  I don’t know if it’s a good thing.

  “You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know,” he finally says, and that catches my attention. I shoot daggers at him with
my eyes when I look up at him. He thinks he suddenly knows me, does he?

  “Excuse me?”

  I think it’s the first real thing he’s ever said to me.

  Jasper and I go back. We have a weird, rocky history based around one wonderful night we spent together followed by nothing. He hurt me and I don’t respect him anymore. How could I care about a man who couldn’t even text me to see if I was feeling okay? We had an intense scene and then he just ghosted. Who does that?

  “I’ve known you for a long time, Odessa. You’re the brave one. You’re always the strong one. No matter who walks through those doors, you’re always ready to help. You lend a hand to anyone who needs it. You’ll give anything if it means you can help another person, and I love that about you, but you do not have to be strong all of the time, Odessa. Sometimes it’s okay to ask for help, too.”

  I should say something snarky.

  I should be a brat.

  This is the moment when I tell him he’s got it all wrong, that Jasper doesn’t actually know anything about me, but that’s simply not true. He does know a lot about me, apparently. More than he should.

  So I stay silent.

  We sit side-by-side, staring out in the crowd, sipping our drinks, pretending that everything is normal.

  And for a minute, I wonder when the world stopped being normal for me.

  Was it when all of my best friends ran off and got married?

  Was it when they started having babies?

  Was it when I decided to give notice at work?

  Was it when I enrolled in college?

  When did things change?

  For a very long time, I was fine just being me. I was okay with being the submissive at the club everyone liked, but no one really knew that well. I was satisfied with my relationships and with my role in this place. I was okay with my friends and I was fine with how things worked, but the world is different now.

  Everyone is laughing and having fun tonight. They should. It’s Christmastime, after all. It’s a time for joy and happiness and gifts and adventures. It’s a time for everything to be okay.

  And it’s a time for change.

  It’s a time for growth.

  It’s a time for honesty.

  “You’re right,” I finally say, turning back to Jasper. “I’m not okay.”

  He opens his mouth, as if he’s going to speak, but I’m not done. Nope. He wanted to hear me talk, and now he’s going to hear me talk.

  “We slept together. Fine. It was a one-off thing. I get that, Jasper. I’m a grown woman. You weren’t the first person to be a dick to me and you certainly won’t be the last, but you know what? Leaving the next day for months and not bothering to even call me was a shitty thing to do. Whether or not you want a relationship, the truth of the matter is that we go to the same club, jackass, so we were going to have to see each other again. You’re a bad person, Jasper, and I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

  Then I stand up, and I walk out of the club in the middle of the Christmas party on the busiest night of the year, and I don’t look back.

  When I get to my car, I slam the door shut, and I sit there, and I cry.

  And I cry.

  And I cry.

  Chapter 2

  Jasper

  She’s got it all wrong.

  I didn’t know just how wrong until tonight.

  I didn’t realize the extent of how much I’d hurt her until this evening, and now I don’t know if it’s too late.

  The truth is that I didn’t just walk away from Odessa. Who could? No one in their right mind would be able to walk away from that gorgeous fucking woman. She’s too incredible, too perfect.

  I guess I should have thought about that sooner.

  When she walks out of Anchored, my heart sinks. I know I’ve messed up. I know she’s never going to forgive me. If I could just talk to her, just explain what happened, then maybe she’d give me another chance, but I don’t really think Odessa is the type of woman to give second chances. She’s been hurt too many times for that, and now I’m just another guy who fucked up with her.

  Shit.

  The thing that hurts the most is the knowledge that I’ve caused her pain. I like Odessa. I like her a lot, but I didn’t realize she cared that deeply for me. As a member of the military, I’m used to being sent on missions with short notice. I didn’t think Odessa would miss me or even notice that I was gone. At least, that’s what I told myself since I wasn’t able to contact her while I was away. I should have told her I was leaving, that I wouldn’t be around, but I thought it was a fling.

  And I missed out.

  The next morning, I left, and there are so many things I didn’t get to do. There were so many things that I wanted to do.

  I wanted to take her out to lunch.

  I wanted to go to the movies with her.

  I wanted to spend an entire afternoon just making love to her.

  I wanted to date her, and I still want that.

  Only the moment is gone, and she’s moved on. I thought that to her, we were just a one-time thing. Olivia has been at Anchored for a long time. As far as I know, she doesn’t typically date her Doms, so I was worried that if I talked to her too much, she’d feel like I was getting clingy.

  Now I see the opposite is true.

  She thought I was blowing her off.

  But oh, I could never, ever blow her off.

  She’s unforgettable, and I will never, ever get over her.

  I stare at Odessa as she waltzes out of Anchored, determined to get away from me as fast as possible, and my heart sinks lower than it ever has before. For a minute, I think I might be sick. I didn’t know if I’d see her tonight, but I think it’s safe to say our reunion didn’t go too well.

  In fact, it couldn’t have gone worse.

  Odessa is the perfect woman, and I’ve lost her.

  “Rough night?” I don’t recognize the voice, and when I look up, I don’t recognize the face, either.

  “You could say that,” I say slowly.

  “She’s a beautiful woman,” the man says.

  “I quite agree.” I reach for my drink and slam it down, ignoring the way the alcohol burns.

  “You know, you shouldn’t try to drink away your problems. Even if you think you’re doing it to help yourself in the present, eventually, that pain just comes barreling back.”

  “Great advice, Mom.”

  “I’m Edgar, actually.” The man sits beside me.

  “Nice to meet you.”

  “I didn’t catch your name,” he says, and I roll my eyes like a little child. I shouldn’t be rude to a fellow Dom. Not at Anchored. The club is all about respect and kindness and treating each other right, but at this moment, I’m feeling a little stressed and a little frustrated and more than a little bit salty.

  “Jasper,” I finally manage to grit out.

  “Pleasure,” Edgar says. He doesn’t call me out for rolling my eyes. Small mercies, I assume. It’s not like I’d get punished or chided for rolling my eyes at a fellow Dom, but it was disrespectful, and I do feel a little bad. This guy hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s just caught me on a really bad day.

  “So, how long have you been coming to Anchored, Edgar?” I ask. I should make small talk with him. I really should. It would be polite and it would make him feel better about being here. Being a new person in a new place is never easy, not even when it’s a sex club.

  “First night,” he says with a smile. Edgar is quite a handsome man, and like me, he’s wearing a suit instead of leathers. Any other night, I’d feel an instant camaraderie with him, but right now, I’m much too busy feeling sorry for myself.

  “Welcome to the club,” I say. “First time at a kink place?”

  “Not at all,” Edgar says. “I just moved here, but I’ve been a Dom for quite some time.”

  “What made you realize you weren’t vanilla?” Somehow, I find myself growing interested in what this man has to say. Maybe it’s b
ecause I don’t actually want to drown my sorrows in alcohol tonight.

  “A girlfriend got me into it, actually,” Edgar says. “She wanted to try tying me up.”

  “And you let her? How open-minded of you.”

  “As it turns out, neither one of us liked it very much, but then I suggested we trade roles.”

  I chuckle. “And how’d that go?”

  “Well, I’m here now,” he says. “And I’ve been trained in just about every aspect of BDSM.”

  “Just about?”

  “We all have our limits.”

  “Isn’t that the truth?”

  We’re quiet for a few minutes, just looking at all of the scenes happening. From our space at the bar, we can see a couple of the stages. Almost everything is Christmas-themed, including the naughty Santa and the Mrs. Clause who happens to be a dominatrix. June really outdid herself tonight.

  “So, spending Christmas at a sex club,” Edgar says. “I take it you’re not with anyone at the moment.”

  “I’m single.”

  “As am I,” he says, but Edgar sounds a little sad about that.

  “Are you okay?” I ask. Maybe I’m not the only one having a rough night. “I realize I’m being kind of a dick, and I’m sorry, but if you want to talk, well,” I motion to myself. “I’m here, man.”

  “That girlfriend I mentioned?”

  “Mmhmm.”

  “We got married,” Edgar says.

  “Okay.”

  “She recently passed away,” he tells me quietly.

  Then it all sinks in. He just moved to a new place and it’s his first holiday without his wife. It’s his first time in a club without his submissive. It’s his first time being a single Dom.

  And it’s Christmas.

  “I’m sorry, Edgar. That sucks.”

  I wish there was more I could say, more I could do.

  “Me too,” he says. “I miss her terribly.”

  “She sounds like a really wonderful woman.”

  “She was,” he tells me. Then Edgar lifts his own glass, and despite his earlier admonishment about drinking too much, orders us each other drink.