Red: Through the Dark Read online

  Into a monster.

  “Are you all right, honey?” Germaine’s hand on my arm brings me back to reality.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry. I was just,” I sigh, running my hand through my dark hair. “I was thinking about my brother.”

  “Oh, is that so, darling? Can I ask why you were thinking about him? I don’t mean to pry, but…”

  “But he was a huge asshole who killed Elise?”

  “Basically.” Her big brown eyes look sad, and I hate the fact that my brother stole away her family. I hate the time she and Nash lost with each other because he was hiding from Jeffrey. I hate the pain they’ve had to endure.

  I slump into a nearby chair and look around the room filled with gorgeous flowing dresses and fabrics. This is my life now. I’m going to be Nash’s wife and I’m going to have my clothes made because nothing the wolves wear will ever fit me and besides, the closest town is too damn far to visit but maybe once a month.

  I’m going to live in a cave and do wolfy things even though I’m not a wolf.

  I’m going to live in the shadow of my brother because he almost destroyed this pack and now, anytime people look at me, they’re reminded of him.

  They’re reminded of what he stood for.

  They’re reminded of who he was and how he tore them apart.

  “I was thinking that I don’t know if the pack will ever accept me,” I tell Germaine.

  “Oh, sweetie.” She pats me on the leg, and it’s all I can do to keep from crying. “Everyone just needs a little time to adjust. There have been a lot of big changes around here lately.”

  “I know. Nash is a great leader. He’ll get everyone in line. I know it. It’s just that…”

  “Go on, you can tell me.”

  “It’s just that I don’t know if I really fit in here.”

  “And what makes you think that?”

  “I’m fat,” I blurt out. “And I’m human. And I can’t shift. And I don’t know about the customs and traditions of the pack. How am I supposed to be a good mate to Nash if I don’t even understand the importance of running as a pack?” Ryder seems to think it will help everyone become more unified, but what about me? How am I supposed to find my place if I can’t shift and run with them?

  “You’re human,” Germaine agrees with a soft sigh. She stands up and motions for me to hand her the red gown. I place it in her hands and she begins to fold it up and place it in a dress box. “No one cares if you’re fat. I just wanted you to fit in the dress. That was a silly dream of mine, and I’m sorry if I was cruel to you about your weight.”

  “Um, what?” Is she actually apologizing? I’m not sure what to do. I certainly wasn’t fishing for an apology from Aunt Germaine, although I’m not going to complain that she gave me one.

  “Sweetie, you’re exactly what this pack needs. You’re what Nash needs. You might not feel like you fit in, but we don’t need more people who fit in. We need people who stand out, who aren’t afraid to do what’s right. When Nash challenged Jeffrey for the pack, he did what was right. You both did. You stood by his side, honey. I saw you. You were with him all the way, no matter what it cost you.”

  Aunt Germaine wraps me up in a warm hug and for a moment, all my thoughts and worries are completely forgotten. Then I remember I’m standing in front of Nash’s aunt and I’m in my underwear.

  “Um, Aunt Germaine?” I ask, carefully pulling myself from her arms. “I need my clothes.”

  “Nonsense,” she smiles. “What do you say we find you something nice for the wedding?” She asks kindly. “Something that fits you, hmm?”

  I nod. “That sounds great.”

  It sounds perfect.

  ***

  A knock sounds at the door and Aunt Germaine stands up from where she was kneeling, placing pins in the new dress she found for me. It’s light blue and strapless. The gown falls just past my knees and reminds me of a cocktail dress, but fancier. The lace overlay makes me feel like a princess.

  “Come in,” Aunt Germaine calls out, but she’s only looking at me.

  “Hey, I just wanted to let you know the pack has returned from the hunt and-oh!” The voice cuts off abruptly as the woman from the meeting last week comes into view. “It’s you,” she says with a smile.

  “And it’s you,” I say coolly. She wasn’t mean to me, but she was the one who warned me that Tessa has been in the pack longer than me.

  “You must think I was a real bitch that morning,” she says with a grin. “I can smell your anger.”

  “You can?” I ask. I’ll never get used to that. While I’m sort of getting used to the fact that Nash can smell me, it’s different when other wolves scent me. It’s so personal. I sometimes feel like I’m walking around with a giant neon sign on my forehead that’s advertising my emotions to the world around me.

  Anger it says. Sadness. Sometimes it flashes Happiness.

  But mostly, I think these days I’m just Confused.

  “Yeah,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest. She might not realize it, but this just makes her boobs look bigger because she’s essentially pushing them right up. An image of her offering them to me flashes through my mind, but I push it away.

  The wolves are very sexually open, but I’m still human. Even if Nash was okay with me being with another girl, I doubt any of the women here would want to be with a human. It’s not really their way. It’s sort of forbidden, looked down upon.

  Besides, I’m not sure if I’m comfortable enough with my own sexuality to want to experiment with a girl. Still, if I did want to try anything, I think I’d want it to be with someone like this woman. She’s beautiful, but she also has a bubbly personality. She seems friendly enough and she’s not scared of anything.

  “I don’t think you’re a bitch,” I say, licking my lips, hoping she can’t smell my very new emotion: Lust. “I’m just a little bit sensitive. Tessa and I don’t really see eye-to-eye.”

  “No shit,” the girl leans against the doorway. “Nobody sees eye-to-eye with Tessa.”

  “Language,” Aunt Germaine scolds, and the girl stands up straight and apologizes.

  “I’m Karen,” she tells me.

  “Scarlett,” I say. “But most everyone calls me Red.”

  “Why?”

  “It just seemed like a fitting nickname because of my red cloak. I wear it all the time.” I don’t tell her my grandmother gave it to me or that it makes me feel close to her.

  “Oh yeah, I noticed that. Weird, you know.”

  “What’s weird?”

  “Your little cape.”

  “Well, maybe it makes me feel like a superhero.”

  “In that case,” she turns to Aunt Germaine. “I want one, too. Can you make me one?”

  “No,” Aunt Germaine says.

  “Hey!” Karen protests. “Why not?”

  “Do you need something or not? Because if you don’t, skidaddle.” Aunt Germaine makes a shooing motion toward the door, but Karen is unfazed and I have the distinct impression this isn’t their first dance together. Karen just smiles and turns back to me.

  “Like I was saying, they’re back from the hunt.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me. “If you and your man Nash need some, um,” she glances at Aunt Germaine. “Down time, or whatever, I can, um, distract Tessa for awhile.”

  “You’d do that for me?” I ask, touched that this stranger would be willing to help me out. Nash and I have been experiencing a lot of interruptions lately, but they’ve always been so reasonable that I didn’t want to jump to the conclusion that Tessa was purposely sabotaging us.

  That didn’t seem fair.

  “Yeah, sure,” Karen waves her hand. “You seem tense. You could probably use some, um, adult time, you know.”

  “I’m old, not deaf,” Aunt Germaine frowns, putting her hands on her hips. “Besides, I’m not that old.”

  “What are you saying?” Karen grins.

  “I’m saying that handsome wolf Thomas was in here just a few d
ays ago and he-”

  “Ew!” Karen screeches, plugging her ears with her fingers. “Enough, enough! I get the picture!”

  Aunt Germaine just chuckles.

  “Go on then,” she tells me. “Come back in a couple of days and we’ll finish the pinning.”

  Giggling like a couple of schoolgirls, I allow Karen to take my hand and pull me from the room and into the hall.

  It’s time to go find my man.

  ***

  Karen comes with me to our suite, but Nash isn’t back yet.

  “I’m guessing the run they’re on lasted longer than I thought it would.”

  “Sometimes they do,” Karen shrugs. “Plus, we haven’t been running as a group very long. Sometimes it takes awhile to get into the swing of things.”

  “Wait, why didn’t you go?” I ask. “You don’t have kids, right?”

  “Nope. I’ve got something better,” she motions toward her ankle, but I don’t know what she’s trying to say until she explains. “I twisted it on the last run, so I’m out of commission. I can still walk in human form, but as soon as I shift, it’s pain city.”

  “That sucks,” I murmur. “Do you want to come sit down?”

  “No, I’m fine,” Karen answers, but she smiles at me, like she knows a secret. Then I remember the crazy lust signals I was sending off at Aunt Germaine’s. Damn. So much for secrets. There really aren’t any in a wolf pack, are there?

  “Lounge,” Karen says, taking my hand once more. For someone who is injured, she sure has a strong grip. I manage to close the door to our suite on the way out, but then we’re off. She guides me through the hallways quite quickly, twisting and turning through different areas.

  “How long have you lived here? I’d get lost if I tried to move as quickly as you. I’m always stopping to figure out which way I need to go.”

  “I grew up here. Trust me: you’ll get it with time. We’ve had plenty of new members join over the years and the first month is always the hardest.”

  “Do you live with your parents?”

  “Dragons, no!” She says, almost shocked at the idea. “I’m an unmated female. I have my own suite.”

  “I wasn’t sure how difficult it was to get your own suite,” I admit. “The caves are great, and they’re big, but is space a concern?”

  “Not at all. When someone takes a mate, they move into the same suite and the empty one is used for other things. Usually another wolf who has come of age will get it. They’ll leave their parents’ suite and get a small room for themselves. Similarly, when someone starts to have kids, they’ll get a bigger suite.”

  “And where do all those rooms come from?”

  “When a kid moves out, the parents usually downgrade to a smaller room.”

  “That makes sense. So the newer, young families will always have space. Wolves are frequently moving around as their family size changes.”

  “Yeah. No one uses more than they need. At least, that’s the idea. Some people think they need bigger suites than the rest of us just because they have big heads.”

  “You mean Tessa.”

  “Ding, ding, ding!”

  “She can’t be all bad,” I protest, even though I know that’s not really true. I’ve known some mean girls like her and they won’t stop until you call them out. It’s just that I already have plenty of attention on me. I don’t really need more.

  When we turn into the lounge, I bite back a growl.

  “Damn,” Karen says under her breath.

  Tessa is standing in the middle of the room wearing “clothes.” She has on a thin tank top and booty shorts. Nash is arguing with her, but she keeps touching his arm. He bats her away at first, then he stops and just keeps talking to her. I stare at her hand on his forearm, glaring. Neither one of them has noticed our presence yet.

  “I don’t mean to boss you around,” Karen says quietly. “But remember what I said the other day about ignoring her and letting things go?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Forget it. You don’t need to ignore her. You need to bitch slap her. Go!”

  She shoves me forward and I scurry over to Nash and Tessa. Neither one of them notices me approach, nor do they seem to notice the crowd that’s gathered to witness their little argument.

  I move closer and closer, listening to their raised voices.

  “Unacceptable,” Nash is saying. “I don’t want to have to revoke your privileges, Tessa, but I will.”

  “Over clothes?” She screeches. “This is insane, Nash! Everyone here has seen everyone else naked before. Why is it such a big deal now?”

  “It’s a big deal because I’m trying to run the damn pack! I can’t have my wolves swooning over each other anytime someone doesn’t have clothes on. We need some order, and this is the first step.”

  “Bullshit,” she spews. “You’re just upset because your mate is fat and I’m not.”

  “Actually,” I say, stepping forward and grabbing a fistful of her perfect blonde hair. “He’s upset because he gave you an order and you didn’t listen.”

  Tessa squeaks in protest but from where I’m standing, she can’t escape from my grip.

  “Red,” Nash begins, but I place my hand on his arm and squeeze, silently telling him that I’ve got this. I’m not freaking out. I’m not going to go all crazy on Tessa. I’m in full control of myself and, for the first time in awhile, of the situation.

  “Clothes, Tessa. Wear them or you’ll lose kitchen rights, hunting rights, and even running rights. Once those are gone, it’s going to be pretty damn hard to earn back the trust of your fellow wolves.”

  A few shifters murmur in agreement and she glares at me, but I’m not done yet. I give her hair another hard yank.

  “It’s not a hard request. If you have trouble finding things that will fit you,” I eye her tiny clothes. “You can talk to Germaine and ask her to help you come up with something. She has a lot of great clothes available and if she doesn’t have something you can wear, I’m sure she would be happy to create you something from scratch.”

  Ryder approaches and stands next to me. He doesn’t touch me, but his presence calms me. He reminds me so much of Nash. They have similar attitudes and statures, but Ryder also radiates a lot of strength. Part of me wonders if Nash realizes what a natural born leader Ryder really is. At some point, I imagine Ryder will go start his own pack. Leading is in his blood and there’s only room for one Alpha per pack. There’s no way he’d ever challenge Nash for leadership, but at some point, his ability to guide a pack is going to become too strong to handle without an outlet. Leadership is something Alphas tend to crave. When they don’t get that fill, they freak out.

  “Trouble?” He asks, looking at all of us. In addition to being Nash’s beta, he’s also sort of Nash’s bodyguard, and mine, whether I want to admit it or not. I like knowing that even when Nash is gone, there are other wolves who will look after me. Aside from some of the females, I don’t have much to worry about when I’m alone in the pack.

  “Not at all,” I say with a sweet smile. “Tessa was just leaving.” I release her hair and motion for her to go. Part of me expects her to whirl around and slap me, but that doesn’t happen.

  Instead, Tessa shoots me a nasty glare, but turns on her heels and begins to walk away. Then she stops and whispers, loud enough for just me to hear, “This isn’t over.”

  I know Nash and Ryder heard her with their sensitive wolf-hearing, but I don’t think any of the other wolves were close enough to catch what she muttered before she left.

  “That’s it, folks, move along,” Ryder says to the gathered wolves. With groans, the group begins to disperse. A few shifters head to the kitchens to begin preparing the evening meal, a couple go to start butchering the fresh meat, and several head back to their private suites.

  “Need me for anything else?” Nash asks Ryder, but Ryder shakes his head.

  “Nope, she’s all yours,” he winks at me and disappears.

  “Hav
e fun!” Karen squeaks from behind Ryder, and he looks surprised to see her. I had forgotten she was there.

  “My lady,” Nash says. Then he swoops me into his arms and guides me back down the hall toward our suites.

  Five

  Nash

  “Finally,” I murmur, carrying Red into the bedroom. I place her on the bed and strip off her clothes, kissing every inch of her skin.

  “More,” she moans. “More.” Red thrusts her hips up, silently begging me to eat her pussy, and I’m happy to oblige. Hooking her legs over my shoulders, I grip her hips and pull her firmly toward myself. She shivers in anticipation as I begin to lick slowly. Starting with each lip, I nip lightly, sucking and biting as I gradually make my way up to her clit.

  Then I lick around it, careful not to touch.

  “Please,” Red begs, but I ignore her as I continue to lick and tease her body. This is what I want, what I need. This is what I’ve been dying for all fucking day.

  “You and me, baby,” I murmur. “This is all I need. You’re so gorgeous like this, Scarlett. Baby, you’re so damn beautiful.”

  “Nash,” she moans, and thrusts her hips up toward me again. I slow my pace, licking up and down her slit without touching her sweet clit. I can see it getting swollen, silently begging for my touch, but I haven’t had Red all to myself in what seems like forever.

  I want to drag this out.

  I want this to count.

  Gently, I run my hands down the outside of her thighs, then back up again, still carefully licking her pussy. She grabs my hair and tries to guide me, but I pull back and nip at her thigh.

  “Naughty girl,” I admonish her. “Who’s in charge here, Red?”

  “You are,” she doesn’t even hesitate before answering and my dick gets even harder.

  “Hands up, baby,” I direct, and even though she moans in protest, she obeys. She’s getting close. It won’t be long now, even without paying attention to her clit. I lap closer and closer to that special spot, the one she’s quietly begging me to touch, until I can’t handle it anymore.