Alien Conquest Page 6

  “You think I’m upset?”

  “On the contrary,” he says quickly. “But I do think you’ve been through a lot and you deserve to have some happiness. Try it,” he says. “See what you think.”

  Tentatively, I pick up a bite of something purple. It’s gooey, but it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen on a dinner plate. I bring the food to my lips and stick out my tongue. Cody laughs at my reaction, but after that first initial taste, I quickly eat the entire bite.

  “It’s delicious,” I say through a mouthful of food: all manners forgotten.

  “Good,” he laughs. “Eat more.”

  We eat in silence, but it’s not uncomfortable. Somehow, this feels so different from what I expected. I thought being on Sapphira would be cold and the people would be unwelcoming. I thought I would miss home, and while I do, it’s not the same way I thought it would be.

  I guess I thought there would be this craving, this longing.

  Instead, missing home is sort of a deep ache, a burning pain.

  I miss Father.

  “Lana, are you okay?” Gerald asks suddenly, and then he and Cody are at either side of me. Cody touches my cheek, and I realize I’m crying.

  “I’d like to go to my room,” I whisper. “If that’s okay.” Suddenly, I’m feeling completely overwhelmed with all of the different emotions that have taken hold of me today. First there was the incident with Harper when we got off the ship, and then Cody and I made out in my room, and now I’m eating my first meal on a new planet, and my father isn’t here to see me.

  He’s not here to see how much I’ve grown, to see how I’m handling everything okay.

  I think he’d be proud of me, but I wish he could see me.

  “I need to lie down,” I say, trying to excuse the fact that I really am being completely rude to my hosts.

  “Is it the food?” Gerald asks quickly. “Because we can make you something else.”

  “It’s not the food,” Cody says, looking over at his father. “Is it, love?”

  “No,” I shake my head. “Can I go to my room, please?”

  Cody pulls me to my feet and he doesn’t seem embarrassed or shy about the fact that his father is right there. He just pulls me into his arms and holds me tight for a long moment.

  “You never need to ask permission to be alone, Lana,” he murmurs, kissing my cheek softly. It’s not really a romantic kiss. It’s not a seductive kiss. It’s just a gentle, comforting kiss designed to help me feel accepted and wanted.

  It makes me feel both of those things, and cherished.

  “Thank you for dinner,” I say to Gerald. I look at Cody, but I don’t say anything. Instead, I gently pull away from him and walk out of the dining area and up the stairs to the second floor. Neither man tries to follow me, and for this small mercy, I am grateful.

  The paintings that line the staircase to the second floor are beautiful. They continue in the upstairs hallways, and I try unsuccessfully to pry my eyes from them. No wonder people love Sapphira so much. The art here is incredible. One of the paintings features two people, obviously a Sapphiran couple, who are holding hands beneath a waterfall. I know it’s a waterfall even though I’ve never seen one. Water on my planet was so scarce at the end that the idea of a waterfall seemed like a luxurious imagining. My father described them to me once. He and my mother, when they were children, used to play in the waterfalls that filled the forest.

  It was a different time then.

  Things were better, safer.

  Now those things are gone forever because my planet is gone: destroyed. I don’t know the details. Sarah tried to explain things to me, but I can’t quite understand. The rebel group on Alipoiaen wanted to destroy the leaders who, in their opinion, had ruined the planet. By doing so, they just wrecked everything further. Did the rebels want a brighter planet? Maybe. Did they hope starting wars would make everything better? They might have. I’m not sure.

  It doesn’t matter now because it’s over and I live on Sapphira in a house with one of the world leaders and his overprotective, armed-to-the-teeth son. I don’t even have Kitty here. I don’t have anyone here who knows what it’s like, who understands what I’m going through.

  When I finally reach my bedroom, I close the door. I got lost three times on the way. That’s how big the house is. It’s overwhelmingly big and I don’t like it. I miss my small little house back home. I miss my village.

  I miss everything.

  I understand fully that I’m being emotional, that I’m drowning myself in a pool of pity, but I can’t bring myself to care. Instead, I strip out of my new clothes and throw myself into the center of the bed and I cry and I cry and I cry.

  I cry until the pillow is soaked with my tears, and then I close my eyes and breathe.

  I close my eyes, and I pray for sleep to take me.

  ***

  The door to my room creaks open and I hear footsteps on the soft carpet. I sit up instantly in bed.

  “Cody!” I say. “What are you doing here?”

  “I knocked,” he holds up both of his hands in a gesture indicating he’s innocent of any accused crimes. “I just wanted to check on you.”

  I look down at myself. “I’m naked,” I say, but I don’t make a move to cover myself. I’m not exactly sure why. I should be ashamed, embarrassed. I should be modest right now. That’s how people behave in any society, isn’t it? Modestly. Only, I’m not embarrassed to have Cody looking at me, and I’m not embarrassed about the way he’s looking at me.

  “I can see that,” he says, and his voice sounds different.

  Deeper.

  “I’m okay,” I tell him quietly. His gaze is firmly on my eyes. He’s not roaming my body. He doesn’t make me feel strange or awkward. Instead, I feel aroused. I like the way I feel right now: like I’m sexy, like I’m turning him on. I feel like a powerful woman, and I love that.

  “Well, that’s good,” Cody says, but he doesn’t make a move to leave. He just stands there in the entrance to the room and he looks at me. “I was worried.”

  “You were worried about me?”

  “It’s your first night on a new planet,” he says gently. “I thought you might feel homesick.”

  I swallow hard and close my eyes for a second. I had fallen asleep for a little while, and my dreams had been of home, of my family. In my dreams, I had been a little girl and both of my parents were alive. It was a good dream.

  “My father,” I whisper. “He died.”

  And suddenly, Cody is sitting beside me on the bed and his arms are wrapped around me. He pulls me close, ignoring my nudity, and his hands pull me close to him. I lean my head on his shoulder, but I don’t cry.

  “I’m sorry about your father,” he says, and something tells me he means it.

  “You know what it’s like,” I whisper. “Don’t you?”

  “Losing a parent?”

  “Yes.”

  Cody is quiet for a long time. For a second, I wonder if he heard me at all, but then he takes a deep breath and continues to rub my back.

  “My mother died,” he tells me. “It tore my father apart: ruined him, really. He was never the same after she passed.”

  “But he seems like such a kind man.”

  “He is a very kind man,” Cody agrees. “But when my mother died, a part of him died, too.”

  “That’s why you never married, isn’t it?” I ask him carefully, and his body tenses. “I’m sorry. That was personal. We barely know each other.”

  “I think we know each other better than we should,” Cody says, and he pulls away slightly and looks down at me. Then his hands move from my back to my sides, and he begins to stroke.

  “Cody?”

  “It’s part of the reason,” he says. His hands play on my skin, bringing each inch of my body to life. The bedroom door is still ajar from when he came in, but I’m not worried or embarrassed or ashamed. I don’t think anyone will catch us, but even if they do, it doesn’t matter. No
ne of it matters. All that matter is that he keeps touching me because for the first time in forever, everything feels like it’s going to be okay.

  “You didn’t want to get hurt,” I say.

  “My father lost himself when my mother passed away,” he says. “I didn’t want that for myself. I didn’t want that for anyone.”

  “And now?” I whisper.

  “I didn’t want to like you, Lana,” he says. “I didn’t want to bring you home. I didn’t want any of that.”

  “So why did you?” I could tell he didn’t like me, but when the rebel tried to get me, Cody seemed to change. The attack seemed to trigger something primal in him, something that made him feel differently toward me.

  Protective.

  “I wanted to save you.”

  “You did,” I whisper.

  Then Cody tilts my chin up and he brings his lips to mine, and he kisses me like he means it.

  And I know that he means it.

  Chapter Eight

  Cody

  I shouldn’t be kissing the girl from Alipoiaen.

  I shouldn’t be caught up in the scent of her hair, the smoothness of her skin, or the gentle way she molds her body against mine. In the darkness of her room, I’m caught up in her, drowning in her touch, and it’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever felt.

  For years, I promised myself I would never fall in love.

  I promised myself I would never find a woman to adore.

  After my mother passed away, I knew I could never love someone as completely as my father had loved her. If I did, and I lost her, I knew it would break me, and if there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that I can never break.

  I can never allow myself to crack.

  Oh, I’ve been with women. I’m no prude. I’m not a good boy. I’m not wholesome. It’s just that I don’t date. I don’t fall in love. I never allow myself to find a certain connection with women. Not on a deep level. Never on an intimate level.

  Yet as I sit in Lana’s bed kissing her mouth softly, gently, carefully, I wonder how I’ve ever managed to live without her. How have I spent my entire life without this sweet woman? How have I spent years without holding her this way? When I’m holding her, I feel like I’ve been living with half of a heart and suddenly, the other half has appeared. I love the way she makes me feel. I love that she makes me feel like a real person and not just another body on my father’s security team.

  Lana is a sweet, innocent girl, and I shouldn’t be kissing her because now that I am, I never want to stop.

  Never.

  I want to pull her even more tightly into my arms and then I want to spread her out on the bed. I want to take my time touching every inch of her over and over and over again. I want all of her. I want everything she is: everything she has to offer.

  And then I want a little bit more.

  “Lana,” I murmur, but she kisses my neck instead of responding. Her breasts are heavy against my chest. I can feel her hard nipples even through the thin fabric of my shirt, and I want more. I want to kiss her from her neck to her toes. I want to ravish her until she forgets her own name.

  “Lana,” I say again, but she shakes her head.

  “Don’t talk,” she says. “Don’t ruin the moment, Cody.”

  “Lana,” I say once more, and this time she pulls away and looks up at me.

  “What is it?” She asks quietly. She looks confused, almost hurt. Does she think I’m about to reject her? I’m not. I would never reject her. Not Lana. I was such a dick when I first met her at the terminal. I can’t believe I told my father she couldn’t come back with us. I can’t believe I was so fucking afraid that I pushed her away immediately.

  I pushed her away and acted like she wasn’t important, like she didn’t matter.

  I treated her like she was unwanted here, and she is not unwanted.

  Not Lana.

  Not ever.

  “I like you a lot,” I tell her.

  “Then what’s the problem, Cody?” She cocks her head to the side. “Are you worried I’m a virgin or something? Do you think I’m going to get all clingy?” She shakes her head. “I won’t. I know what this is.”

  Now I’m the one who’s offended.

  Does she think I’m going to fuck her and then leave her?

  Abandon her?

  No.

  Fucking.

  Way.

  Not Lana.

  “What do you think this is, Lana? Tell me exactly, because I’m not sure we’re on the same page,” I tell her.

  She shrugs. “It’s a one off,” she says. “One time and that’s it. We’ll have some fun and then you’ll go back to your room. I won’t tell Gerald. I won’t tell anyone. Soon your father will be satisfied that there’s no rebel threat against me, that there aren’t any more Alipoiaen stowaways who managed to evade security. He’ll let me move on, and I’ll get my own place, and that will be that.”

  “It sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into this,” I say, trying not to grit my teeth. Fuck. I am so dumb. I can’t believe I was starting to let myself get carried away with thoughts of Lana. I was starting to let myself think that she was special, that she was different from all the women I’ve been with before, but she’s not, is she?

  She really is just the same, and isn’t that a shame?

  I don’t want the same.

  I don’t want normal.

  I just want her and I don’t know what to do about it.

  Again, I’m no choir boy. I’m no innocent. I don’t like the idea of her viewing me as some means to an end. I don’t want to be an itch she can scratch. I want to be more than to Lana, and I need to show her I can be.

  “I just,” she says, and then Lana bites her bottom lip, like she’s not actually certain. “I don’t want you to think I’m going to ask you for anything.”

  “Oh, sweetheart,” I lift her chin with my fingers, and I look deep into her eyes. “You can ask me for anything you want. Don’t you know that I would give you the fucking world?”

  It’s not what I meant to say.

  It’s not what I should have said.

  It’s not appropriate for someone I only met a couple of hours ago.

  She swallows hard, and then Lana closes her eyes. In that moment, I know the spell has been broken. She’s not going to go for this anymore. She’s not ready to make love to me anymore. She’s not interested. Not anymore.

  I blew it.

  “Lana, you’re incredible,” I tell her, and I kiss her softly once more. “Now get under the covers and I’ll tuck you in.”

  “What?” She cocks her head to the side, confused.

  “Here,” I lift the blankets and show her how to slide under them. Then I wrap them tightly around her. “No one has ever done this for you before?”

  “No,” she whispers.

  “Well, I’m glad I got to be your first.” She smiles slowly, and I kiss her on the forehead before pulling away. I don’t want to go. Even though I know that I need to go back to my room, back to my own space, back to my own world, I don’t want to go. I just want to stay here with Lana. I want to stay here until the darkness covers us both. I want to stay here until I forget that I completely messed up this thing budding between us, but I don’t.

  Reluctantly, I turn and head toward the bedroom door, and I step outside.

  “Good night, princess,” I whisper, and I close the door behind me.

  The hallway feels quiet and lonely as I make my way back to my own wing. When I get to my study, I sit at the desk and lean my head on it. I’m a serious security advisor. I’m a professional bodyguard. I’m smart and intelligent and witty, but I can’t convince a new girl that I’m worth spending time with.

  How messed up is that?

  My entire life, I’ve shied away from the idea of love, from romance. Now, the first girl I actually want to spend time with doesn’t want to be around me, at least not for more than one night. How could I have screwed this up so very quickl
y?

  There’s a knock at the door.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  “Come on in, Father.”

  I don’t bother moving, but I hear him coming into the room and taking a seat across from me.

  “Would you like a drink?” He asks.

  “No.”

  “Would you like a smoke?”

  “No.”

  “Would you like me to talk to her?”

  At that, I look up.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie, and my father laughs. He actually laughs. It’s been a long time since I heard him laugh like that, and my eyes go wide. “What?” He says.

  “You laughed.”

  “It’s not the first time.”

  “It’s the first time in forever, Father.”

  “Nonsense,” he waves his hand and leans back in his seat. “I laugh frequently.”

  “Something’s different about you,” I say. I noticed it before, but now it’s quite obvious. He doesn’t seem as down or as sad as he did before. He seems more open, more comfortable. He seems self-assured and content. What changed? Something happened on that planet, something he’s not telling me, and I want to know exactly what it is.

  “I’m the same man I’ve always been.”

  “What changed?” I ask him gently. “When you were on the planet? When you were with Lana’s family?”

  Father’s eyes darken just the slightest bit. Sadness. He’s sad thinking about what happened there, and I don’t blame him. Maybe he feels like it’s his fault she’s here. Maybe he thinks it’s because of him that her father died.

  Does he feel responsible?

  “I know you didn’t want me to go,” he says finally.

  “Damn right I didn’t want you to go,” I start, but the look on my father’s face shuts me right up. This isn’t the time for judgment, I remind myself, and if my father is anything like me, which he is, he’s judging himself hard enough for the both of us.

  “I knew there was political tension there,” he says. “And a lot of the other senators had no interest in touring the planet.”