The Lumberjack's Baby Bear Page 5

  “You’re good with him,” Jace says, observing me.

  “Well, I’ve spent a lot of time with him,” I point out. “Pretty soon, you’ll be the one who’s good with him.”

  “I’m scared,” Jace says plainly. He laughs when he sees my face. “Surprised at my honesty?”

  “I’m surprised you had the balls to say that, yeah, but I’m also surprised that you’re scared. What is it you’re afraid of?”

  “I’ve never had a kid,” he says.

  “So? There’s a first time for everything, right?”

  “I don’t know the first thing about being a dad,” he tells me. “I mean, I couldn’t even take care of Alexis. I couldn’t protect her. How am I supposed to protect this little guy? Just look at him,” he gestures to Brandon. “He’s so small.”

  I look at the baby and nod.

  “You’re right,” I say. “He is small.”

  Jace seems to deflate.

  “Which is why it’s a good thing his dad is so big and strong and gentle,” I tell him. “Jace, nobody knows what they’re doing. Not when they first start.”

  “Alexis would have known.”

  “Alexis was a very special person,” I agree.

  “Did she...I mean...” He pauses, and then looks at me. “Was she ever scared?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Of this,” he gestures to the baby, to the room, to everything. “Of being a mom or making mistakes or just...just royally messing up?”

  “Of course,” I tell him honestly. “We talked about it a lot, actually.”

  “And?”

  “And I told her that I might not be a pediatrician, but I see my fair share of parents,” I tell him honestly. “And every single one of the good parents I meet is a worrier, at least a little.”

  “I don’t know why, but that makes me feel a little better,” he tells me.

  “It should,” I tell him. I move to him and place my hand on his arm. “Jace, being a parent is scary as shit, okay?”

  He laughs, throwing his head back.

  “What?”

  “I didn’t know you had it in you,” he tells me.

  “What?”

  “Cussing like a shifter,” he shakes his head with a giggle. “I’ll be damned.”

  “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with expressing myself.”

  “Not at all, darling,” he says. “Besides, I think you expressed yourself pretty wonderfully last night,” he says. “Don’t you?”

  He shoots me a look then, and this time, it sends heat all over my body. My entire being feels alert and hot and on fucking fire.

  Yeah.

  I guess you could say that.

  Last night was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. To be honest, I don’t know if it’s something I’ll ever be able to experience again. Not like that. There was just this incredible chemistry between the two of us that made everything feel like it was totally perfect. It’s been an eternity since I had a partner who made me feel the way Jace made me feel.

  Or maybe no one ever has.

  “Yes,” I finally say. “I think I did okay.”

  “Baby,” he growls. “You were un-fucking-believable. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. You have an incredible body and even better attitude. Making love to you was no hardship on my part, you got that?”

  I blush.

  So, Mountain Man has a heart of gold and a dick of steel. Perfect. Seriously, is there anything this guy doesn’t have? Is there something I can dislike about him? Because I’d really, really, really love to find something to dislike about him.

  Anything.

  I’d like to find any single, little thing to dislike about him because I want him.

  And oh, I don’t want to want him.

  He’s all wrong for me and the timing is all wrong, but the way he’s looking at me makes me feel incredible and safe and sexy. Oh, when was the last time Dr. Polly felt sexy?

  Somewhere between hell freezing over and half-past never.

  “So,” I whisper. “What do we do now?”

  “What do you mean?” He asks, cocking his head. “You want me again so soon, sweetheart?” He raises an eyebrow and I burst out laughing. “Because I can be ready to go pretty soon.”

  “No,” I shake my head. “Not a good idea.”

  “Then what do you want?”

  “I mean, what are we going to do about this?” I gesture to me and Brandon and then to Jace. “What about us being here? I mean, should we start looking for a new place to live?”

  “From what you said, it sounds like Alexis’ family wants to find the baby. Isn’t that right?”

  My blood runs cold when I hear him say it out loud.

  “Yeah,” I swallow.

  Hard.

  “That’s right.”

  “Well, you obviously got a head start,” he says, glancing toward the window. “But if they’ve tracked her down consistently, then they’re obviously going to be able to find you.”

  “What?” I pale. Really? How?

  “You didn’t think they would try to follow you?”

  “But, we’re in the mountains.”

  “Yeah,” he nods slowly. “And they’re obviously excellent trackers. They apparently know how to find people who don’t want to be found, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you were pretty emotional when you left your home.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  He pauses and looks me up and down. Jace considers me, and for a brief moment, I wonder if he’s going to tell me something I really don’t want to hear. What could he possibly have to say that could be so terrible? That’s what I want to know.

  “You keep telling me you don’t know how they found her.”

  “I don’t.”

  “Alexis was careful,” he says. “Even when we were dating, she was always looking over her shoulder. Oh, I didn’t know what she was running from. I just knew she was running.”

  “Okay...”

  “Darling, didn’t you wonder how they could find someone who so carefully didn’t want to be found?”

  “Of course, I wondered, but...”

  What’s he trying to say?

  Then he taps his nose and I realize that the answer has been here this entire time. Obviously, things weren’t as they seemed. There was more to the situation than I could have possibly understood.

  “They’re shifters,” I say, realizing what he’s trying to tell me. “And someone smelled her. They sniffed out her location. Literally.”

  “It’s the only explanation that makes sense. I don’t know what set them off on her trail or why they so desperately wanted Alexis, but if they’re coming after Brandon, and they’re coming after you, well, all they have to do is follow your scent.”

  “What does that mean?” I ask.

  Does it mean I’m never going to escape?

  Does it mean there’s no way I’m ever getting out of this?

  Does it mean that despite everything else, I’m going to be totally screwed?

  What does it mean?

  What?

  “Think about it,” he repeats. “Alexis’ father isn’t a shifter. If he was, she would be, too. The boyfriend, though?”

  “He was never her boyfriend.”

  “Her dad wanted her to marry this guy, right? Maybe that person is a shifter of some sort.”

  “You think Andrew is a shifter?”

  “Don’t you?”

  “But that means he’s been hiding in plain sight.”

  “That’s the best place to hide,” Jace tells me. “Because that’s where nobody’s looking for you, love. That’s where nobody’s going to find you.”

  I run my hands anxiously through my hair. I feel like I’m going to throw up. No, I’m definitely going to throw up. Definitely. How could I have missed this?

  “I never would have thought.”

  “I could be wrong,” he says. “But I doubt it.”

  “Ho
w are you so confident all the time?” I ask Jace, looking up at him sharply. “It’s just not fair.”

  “Life’s not fair, Polly. Never has been.”

  He paces for a minute. He sets baby Brandon down in his makeshift bassinet and instantly, Brandon starts to wiggle around. He’s trying so hard to learn how to roll over, how to start scooting. Soon he’ll be crawling everything.

  And Alexis won’t be here to see it.

  “When the storm clears,” he says. “They’re probably going to be here. They’re going to show up, and we need to be ready.”

  I don’t want that.

  I don’t want them to come here.

  I don’t want to admit that I may have led them here.

  I just don’t.

  “I can’t do this,” I tell him. I look up at Jace and everything hurts. My entire heart hurts. Like, really and truly, It just aches.

  “What do you mean? Of course, you can,” he looks at me like he believes in me, and I wonder what I’ve done to deserve that. I’ve fought for everything my entire life. I fought to get good grades, and I fought to get into school, and I fought to become a doctor.

  Everything I’ve ever done has been a fight, but right now?

  Right now, I don’t want this to be a fight.

  Right now, I just want some peace.

  But I look out the window and as I see the snow starting to swirl around with the makings of a small blizzard, I have a sinking feeling in my stomach that for some reason, Jace is right, and they’re coming.

  Chapter Eight

  Jace

  We’ll worry about the bad guys when they get here.

  Right now, I have something more pressing to deal with: Polly.

  She’s scared shitless. I may not know her very well, but oh, I can see how much she’s worrying right now. She’s afraid. She’s scared for many reasons, and I find myself wanting to help her through each and every one of them.

  “Hey,” I tell her.

  “Hey,” she says, looking at me.

  “It’s going to be fine.”

  “You don’t know that.” She sits on the floor, collapsing next to Brandon. She reaches into her bag and pulls out a little toy. My son coos and makes happy noises as she plays with him, and for a couple of minutes, the world seems like it’s okay, after all.

  For a few minutes, it seems like everything’s okay.

  “Tell me what you’re worried about,” I say. I sit next to her and reach for her free hand. She seems a little surprised at my affection, but I don’t think you can really underestimate the value of holding hands. My mom used to do this when I was a kid, and somehow, it always made everything better. Holding hands always helped me to feel safe and comforted. Right now, that’s how I want Polly to feel.

  I want her to know that no matter what happens, no matter who comes to my cabin, that I will protect both her and my child.

  I will fight to the death.

  I will keep them safe.

  But something tells me there’s more to her feelings tonight than straightforward fear.

  There’s something deeper, darker, that’s hurting her.

  What is it?

  “I don’t want to,” she says.

  “Why not?”

  “Because we don’t really know each other that well.”

  “So?”

  “So, talking about your fears with people is embarrassing.”

  “Okay, that’s fair,” I say. “I’ll start. I’m scared of losing you and Brandon.”

  “What?”

  “I said, I’m scared of losing you and my son.”

  “But you’ve only just met both of us.”

  “That’s right, and the idea of losing you, no matter how outrageous it might be, horrifies me.”

  “Wow,” she says. “I’ve never had anyone care that much about me.”

  “Never?”

  “No,” she shakes her head.

  “I’m sure your parents cared.”

  “I didn’t know my dad,” she says. “I was raised by my mom.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yeah, I mean, she was a good mom, and she worked hard to take care of me. Actually, that’s how I met Alexis. We went to the same private school. Without my mom’s sacrifices, I never would have gone to a place like that.”

  “Your mother sounds like a wonderful person.”

  “She was.”

  “Was?”

  “She passed away a few years ago,” Polly says.

  “That must have been hard.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “Oh,” I chuckle sadly.” I think I might have a little bit of an idea.”

  “I’m sorry,” she says quickly. “I didn’t mean.”

  “It’s okay,” I hold my hand up. “It’s okay. I know that you didn’t mean anything by it, but you know, I’ve experienced a lot of loss, Polly. In fact, it seems as though you and I have lost the same girl.”

  “So we have.”

  “She was a good person.”

  “The best person,” she agrees.

  “Tell me what you liked best about Alexis,” I say. I’m ready to take a little drive down memory lane.

  “Hmm,” she says. “What I liked best? That’s a hard one.”

  “I liked her laugh,” I say. “She was always ready with an easy laugh and a good joke.”

  “I taught her those jokes, you know,” Polly laughs. “She didn’t know a single joke when she started at our school.”

  “No jokes at all?”

  “Nope. I mean, she grew up in such a conservative and strict household, you know? They didn’t really think jokes were okay.”

  “That’s insanity,” I say. “That’s actually, quite literally, insane.”

  It’s a wonder that Alexis turned out half as normal as she did. When the two of us were together, there was no doubt in my mind that we were supposed to be together. After all, I loved her above everything else.

  She was my everything.

  Then she was gone.

  Now?

  Now I’m spending time with her best friend and our love child and there’s a part of me that just can’t help but think all of this is wrong somehow. I know that’s not true, but it feels a little wrong, a little morbid. I feel like I should be lying in bed, screaming and crying. I shouldn’t be here laughing or having fun or thinking about all of the things I loved about Alexis. I should be mourning her: not celebrating her life.

  Right?

  It feels like there’s something wrong with me right now that I’m just sitting around thinking about all of the good times. I worry that I’m screwing up my own mourning somehow.

  “She always said that a good joke was like a shot of whiskey: it’d warm you right up,” Polly shakes her head. “Man, I really miss her.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say.

  “Don’t say that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m sorry doesn’t mean anything, Jace. It’s not going to bring her back and it’s not going to make it not hurt.”

  “You’re right,” I say. Suddenly, I look down, and I notice that Brandon has fallen asleep again. Damn, that kid sleeps a lot. Human babies are supposedly always awake, but I guess that’s one of the nice things about shifter kids: they love to snooze.

  “He’s asleep,” she says, looking at him.

  “How often does he nap?”

  “Constantly, to be honest. Alexis was worried he’d never learn to crawl or walk because he spends all of his time sleeping.”

  “Alexis worried too much,” I say. I pull her to her feet and bring her in for a tight hug.

  “What was that for?”

  “To comfort you.”

  “I don’t need comforting.”

  “Don’t you?”

  “Nope.”

  “You aren’t a little sad?”

  “Nope.”

  “You aren’t a little lonely?”

  “Not at all.”

  “You aren’
t just a little bit anxious to see what I’m going to do to you once you’re alone in the bedroom with me?” I raise an eyebrow, and she stills. Yeah, she’s a curious little thing. She’s much too curious to let an invitation like that just hang. She wants to know exactly what I’m going to do, and luckily, I’m quite prepared to show her.

  “Come on,” I grab her hand and pull her into the room. I close the door behind us. Then I push her up against it and start kissing her.

  “Jace,” she whispers, but she’s not protesting.

  She’s not denying me this.

  She’s just...

  Expressing herself.

  I kiss her neck, licking her. I nip at her skin. She groans and reaches for me, pulling me even closer. It’s moments like these where I wonder how I ever managed to live alone for so damn long.

  Polly smells like an angel. She smells like perfection. She’s sweetness and goodness and naughtiness all rolled into one beautiful package, and I want so much more.

  I want everything.

  I run my hand up her thigh and between her legs. Gently, I start to stroke her over the pants. She wiggles against my hand and groans.

  “Fuck,” she says. “Right there, Jace.”

  “Oh, you like this,” I murmur. I nip at her ear and keep rubbing her. I’m hard as hell, and I know that while we took our time last night, this time, it’s going to be hot and fast and hard because that’s what I need.

  I need fast.

  I need hot.

  I need all of it.

  “Under the pants,” she takes my hand and tries to shove it under her pants. I happily oblige, and she groans when I slide one finger inside of her, and then another. I pump my fingers in and out of her body, and she tightens her pussy around me.

  “Fuck,” I groan. “You’re so tight, princess.”

  “I...more...I need more...”

  “Tell me what you need,” I say. I keep rubbing her pussy from the inside, stroking her fast and giving her everything she’s begging for. I let my fingers gently graze over her clit, but then I slip them back inside of her and keep teasing her.