Starboard (Anchored Book 1) Page 5

  Each stage has a crowd around it. A lot of the spectators are simply standing around, watching. Others are in chairs, enjoying the scenes comfortably. A couple of people are having sex out in the open while they watch the scenes. It takes a certain bravery as a couple to be able to do that, and I love seeing how people connect with each other in that way.

  There’s a reason Mary and I aren’t together anymore, and sadly, a lot of it has to do with my interest in BDSM. She had no interest in anything beyond my wallet. Although she pretended to be interested in BDSM and even took a class with me, once it was apparent I was actually serious about playing, she immediately started cheating on me with people I knew.

  Specifically, with my clients.

  The divorce was messy, ugly. I didn’t have to pay her alimony, but only because Tony is a fucking good attorney. We were only two years out of law school when it happened. I wasn’t even thirty yet. In the five years since the divorce, I’ve changed a lot, grown up a lot.

  I’ve moved on.

  I haven’t been in a serious relationship, though, and Tony knows why.

  Christina intrigues me, though, and for the first time in a very long time, I’m actually considering whether pursuing a relationship is something that would be possible. I’m considering whether it would be a good idea. I’m considering whether I could offer her something, whether I could be good for her.

  And when I’m honest with myself, I think I could be good for her.

  When we arrive at the room she and her Dom chose, I’m a little surprised to see it’s a teacher’s office.

  “Kinky little thing,” Tony murmurs. Christina is wearing a black bra and a black plaid miniskirt, so I should have figured they were going to do some sort of schoolteacher theme tonight.

  There’s already a crowd gathered, including a dungeon monitor.

  “She was smart to ask you to watch,” Tony says to the monitor, who nods, but says nothing. It’s a different monitor than last week, but something tells me all of the staff members are going to have their eye on Christina tonight. After last week’s fiasco with her Dom not respecting her safeword, it’s no wonder. No one wants to be known as the club that doesn’t keep its submissives safe.

  The scene starts typically: she’s a naughty schoolgirl and she needs to be punished. She twirls her hair and winks playfully at the crowd gathered at the window before the Dom pushes her down on the desk and lifts her skirt. I groan as he reveals her bare bottom and begins spanking her.

  I want to be the one spanking her.

  I want to be the one disciplining her.

  I want to be the one playing with her.

  She spreads her legs as he spanks her, and I have a perfect view of her shaved pussy.

  “Fuck,” Tony whispers, adjusting himself. “She’s fucking gorgeous, isn’t she?”

  “With the right Dom, she really glows,” I admit. This guy is good. He seems to know exactly what she can take and what she can’t. He spanks her until tears are streaming down her face, but she doesn’t safeword. She takes his punishment, and then he turns her around so she’s sitting on the desk. She cringes as her sore bottom hits the wood, and he murmurs something to her.

  She smiles, and spreads her legs, and he kneels before her and starts to lick her.

  It’s the hottest thing I’ve seen in ages.

  She’s wide open to him and he seems to love it. The Dom has undone his pants and is rubbing his cock while he eats her pussy. Christina throws her head back and groans, murmuring words I can’t understand. She’s saying something to him, something good, something I wish I could hear.

  And then he sucks her clit into his mouth and she comes.

  I know the exact second she comes apart because her eyes open wide and she looks straight at me. Her mouth forms an “o” and her whole body shakes with the impact of the orgasm. The Dom stands as her orgasm subsides and continues rubbing himself. They say a couple of words. She smiles. Then he comes over her neck and chest.

  She smiles as he helps her down from the desk. Someone in the crowd claps.

  “Fuck, that was quite a scene,” someone next to me murmurs. I look over to see a man standing with his pants down. His submissive is blowing him right in the hallway. It’s sexy as hell, to be sure.

  The Dom in the room helps Christina get cleaned up. Good. She’s letting him help her. Only once her body is clean and her clothes are adjusted, he seems to want to hold her for a little while, and I see her shaking her head.

  “Shit. She’s doing it again.”

  “Seems to be her thing,” Tony shrugs.

  “Not tonight,” I tell him.

  The Dom looks disappointed and maybe a little frustrated, but he lets her walk to the door and open it. She slips out of the room and closes the door behind herself, leaving the Dom to finish cleaning the room.

  “You need aftercare,” I tell her. The dungeon monitor is still there and whistles, like he knows what I’m saying is a terrible idea.

  “I’m fine.”

  “You just came in front of a crowd full of people watching you. You’re going to drop. You need someone to take care of you.”

  “I told you,” she looks up at me, but she doesn’t seem angry or upset. She doesn’t even seem that sure of you. “I’m fine.”

  When she speaks, it’s like she’s trying to convince herself.

  Fuck it.

  I’ve got playing privileges tonight, and I’m not interested in letting this girl struggle alone. Not anymore. I wanted to play with her, but tonight, I’m going to take care of her.

  “What’s your safeword?”

  “Excuse me?” She looks surprised.

  “What’s your safeword?”

  “Bagels,” she looks confused.

  “I’m taking care of you,” I tell Christina. “I’m giving you aftercare. Unless you’re going to say ‘bagels,’ I don’t want to hear another word out of you.” Then I lift her into my arms and walk out of the hallway and into the main room. Behind me, the crowd has erupted into whispers and murmurs, but I don’t care. I ignore all of them and look around the room for a quiet corner where I can hold Christina.

  Finally, I spot a couple of chairs that are far away from the main stages, and I walk over to one. It’s not until I sit down that I realize she’s wrapped her arms around me and nuzzled her head to my chest.

  And that she’s crying quietly.

  Chapter 9

  Christina

  I don’t do aftercare.

  I told myself that I would try it tonight. I told myself I’d be brave. Then when it was time to woman up and do it, I freaked out. I did what I always do and I ran away. Peter is a perfectly nice Dom. He’s respectable and kind and we’ve played together before, but tonight he really wanted to take care of me and I wouldn’t let him.

  I felt so upset and disappointed in myself when I walked out of that room. I felt like I was letting everyone down again. I felt like everyone expected me to fail, so I did.

  But then my tall, dark, and handsome stranger picked me up and carried me away from the noise, away from the eyes, away from everyone, and he just held me.

  And that’s when the tears came.

  Now I’m in his arms, quietly crying against his chest. I can’t even really say why I’m crying so much. Maybe I’m crying because I’m sad. Maybe I’m just lonely. I’m not embarrassed, so I’m not crying because I’m shy. He’s right, though. It was a really intense scene. I don’t always come when I have scenes with people at the dungeon, but when I do, I always feel really empty afterward.

  It’s like all of my emotion, all of my heart, spilled out when I had an orgasm and there’s nothing left inside of me but goo.

  There’s nothing left inside of me but sadness and anxiety.

  And I just don’t know what to do.

  “Christina,” I hear the man’s voice, but I don’t look up. “Christina,” he repeats. “I’m Zack. Can you look at me? Can you do that for me?”

  Slo
wly, I manage to bring my eyes to his.

  “Good girl,” he murmurs, and I’m filled with an overwhelming sense of peace and calmness. The endearment shouldn’t mean so much to me, but it does. I so often feel like I do everything wrong, but those two simple words mean the world to me.

  Good girl.

  “How are you feeling?” He rubs my back gently. Someone drops off a blanket to us and I hear him thanking them, but I don’t look up to see who it is. He wraps the blanket around me, but keeps his hand on my back. I can feel him against my skin, and it’s comforting.

  “I…I don’t know,” I tell him honestly.

  Scared.

  Tired.

  Worn out.

  Exhausted.

  I feel calm and terrified at the same time, but when I’m with him, in his arms, I feel a deep sense of safety. I feel a deep sense of peace.

  Holy dragons.

  Is this what I’ve been missing out on?

  “Well, let’s keep things simple,” he says gently. “Do you feel thirsty?”

  “A little,” I admit, and a bottle of water appears in front of my face.

  “Will you drink some for me?”

  I nod. Normally, I wouldn’t drink water after a scene. I know staying hydrated is important, but I’m always way too exhausted to drink. Still, knowing I’m doing it for this man, for this Dom who is taking care of me, is calming to me.

  I might not be doing it for myself, but I’m doing it for him, and that pleases him.

  This knowledge makes me feel happy.

  He holds the water bottle to my lips and I sip it slowly.

  “Good girl,” he says again, and I lean back against his chest. He continues rubbing my back and he wraps his other arm around me, pulling me closer to him.

  He smells good: masculine. He doesn’t smell anything like the Dom I was playing with. He smells like sandalwood. He smells like kindness. I want to wrap his scent around me like a blanket and just stay here in his arms for hours.

  I wonder if he’d let me.

  “How old are you, Christina?” His question surprises me, but I answer him.

  “27,” I tell him. Then, realizing we’re having a conversation, I decided to join in. “What about you?”

  “A little bit older,” he admits. “34.”

  “That’s not too old.”

  “Thank you,” he chuckles gently and then his hand moves from my back to my hair, and he starts running his hands through it. I can’t help myself. I let out a soft noise that sounds almost like a purr. It just feels so good, so incredible. I don’t want him to ever stop touching me.

  And this, I realize, is what I’ve been missing from the submission experience.

  I give to my Doms, but I don’t let them give back to me.

  I take care of them, but I refuse their care for myself.

  No wonder Mistress D doesn’t want to play with me anymore.

  “What’s your job?” Zack speaks again.

  “I work at a daycare,” I tell him.

  “That sounds like an interesting job. Do you enjoy being around children?”

  “Yes,” I tell him honestly. I don’t tell him that Cameron and I wanted more children, that we’d been trying when he died. I don’t say that working with other people’s children is a small comfort as I realize I’ll never have a big family. I don’t tell him that I love my daughter so much it hurts, and that I like knowing she gets to spend time with other kids because she’ll never have siblings.

  “I’m a lawyer,” Zack offers freely.

  “Do you keep the bad guys out of jail?” I ask, suddenly feeling a little snarky. Zack laughs again, but keeps touching my hair, and I wiggle closer to him.

  “Careful,” he says. “You’re just going to get me excited with all that wiggling.” I realize what he means because I feel his hardness beneath my butt.

  “Oh,” I whisper. “Sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. You’re very beautiful, Christina. Surely you know how you affect the people around you. And to answer your question, I do not keep the bad guys out of jail, nor do I send them there. I’m not that kind of lawyer.”

  “What kind of lawyer are you?”

  “I’m in real estate law.”

  “Is it a fun job?”

  “I meet a lot of interesting people,” he says, and then he starts talking about his work. The conversation flows easily, and I ask him questions about his job, and he tells me. Before I know it, I’m starting to feel good.

  Really good.

  I’m starting to feel calm, and taken care of, and protected.

  “All right,” he says after awhile. “How are you feeling now?”

  “Pretty good,” I admit.

  “Can you see now why aftercare is important?” He asks.

  Blushing, I manage to nod, but don’t say anything.

  “Christina,” Zack sighs and tilts my head up so I’m looking at him. His eyes are beautiful, and I want to drown in them in this moment. “You’re sweet, but you need to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. If you don’t have a regular partner, you need to make sure you’re choosing people who are going to take care of you after a scene. It’s not safe for a sub to come down from that high alone.”

  “I know,” I whisper, embarrassed.

  “I’m not asking you for sex,” he says. “But can I take you home? I want to make sure you get there safely.”

  I should refuse. It’s a bad idea to bring a strange man back to my house, even if he is from Anchored. In reality, I don’t think anything bad will happen. All of the members are vetted and have background checks, health checks, and psychological checks done before being allowed to play.

  “I don’t have to spend the night,” he says. “I don’t even have to come inside, but please, let me take care of you for a little bit longer. Let me get you home safely.”

  “What about my car?” I ask.

  “I can drive your car back to your place,” he says easily. “And then I can cab home. I rode with my friend, so it’s not a problem.”

  “Who’s your friend?”

  “There,” he points, and I look to see another tall man. He’s got short, dark hair and bright blue eyes. “His name is Tony. He’s a lawyer at my firm.” Zack fishes a business card out of his pocket and hands it to me. I glance down at it. It has his full name, business name, address, and phone number on it. “I can get you one of Tony’s, too.”

  “Okay,” I say finally, deciding to take a chance on this guy. “You can drive me home.”

  Chapter 10

  Zack

  Christina gives me her address and I punch it into my phone’s GPS. She curls up in the passenger seat and we head for her place. She’s quiet, but that’s to be expected. She had a long night.

  I’m so fucking proud of her for being so brave tonight. Part of me worries I shouldn’t have pushed her. I don’t know her, after all, and we haven’t played together before. Still, she had every chance to safeword and she didn’t.

  She didn’t.

  She seemed to be fine with me taking care of her and fine with me pushing her. She seemed to enjoy it after awhile. Once she relaxed, she was putty in my arms, and although she might not realize it, there was a dungeon monitor close by while I was taking care of her.

  Anchored might be a sex club, but they take care of their own, and the truth of the matter is that I’m the new guy. Christina has rank over me in that place, at least when it comes to personal relationships, and I had more than a few people walk by to peek at her and make sure she was all right.

  I wonder if she knows how cared for she is.

  I wonder if she knows she is cherished.

  I wonder if she knows she’s appreciated.

  There’s a lot about Christina I don’t know. I do know that she works for a daycare and that she loves being around kids. Judging by the backseat of her car, which has a booster seat and more Cheerios than any car should have, I’d say she has a child of her own.

 
I don’t ask her about that on the drive. She’ll tell me when she’s ready.

  “Music?” I ask, turning down the main road that leads away from Anchored.

  “No, thanks,” she says, yawning. “I’m happy just to talk.”

  “What would you like to talk about?”

  “You’re new to Anchored.”

  “You’re right.”

  “I’ve seen you before,” she says. “When did you start coming here?”

  “This is my third time.”

  “Third time’s a charm.”

  “You could say that.”

  “Have you been a Dom for a long time?” She looks over at me, and I can’t help but smile.

  “Somebody’s feeling curious.”

  She shrugs. “Well, you are driving me home in my own vehicle. Who knows? Maybe you’re an axe murderer. I should probably get to know you before you kill me.”

  “I would never kill anyone as pretty as you.”

  “I don’t even know what to say to that. Are you admitting you’re a murderer or are you just trying to flatter me?”

  “I’m mostly trying to make you smile.”

  “Success!” She says, and fist-pumps the air.

  “But to answer your question, I’ve been interested in BDSM for close to a decade now.”

  “Do you have a serious play partner?”

  “I do not.”

  “Wife?”

  “No.”

  “Girlfriend?”

  “I’m single.”

  “That’s weird.”

  “Why is it weird?”

  “Because you’re…you know,” she motions to my body.

  “I don’t know.”

  Christina rolls her eyes and makes a loud sound, like she can’t believe me, like I’m completely ridiculous.

  “What?” I ask her.

  “You’re hot, dude! Like, super, completely, out-of-my-league-and-everyone-else’s totally hot.”

  “That’s quite a compliment.”

  “You’re welcome.”