Battleship (Anchored Book 2) Page 4

  “I want that very much.”

  “Most people don’t ask to talk after they’ve fooled around.”

  “Most people are idiots.”

  I sip my whiskey again, trying to buy myself a few more seconds. What do I say to Thorn? I think up several ideas, but finally, I just decide to go with the truth.

  “I feel very sexy,” I say. “And that’s not something I feel very often.”

  “You are an incredibly erotic woman, Lily.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You can say that again,” June winks from behind the bar.

  “Are you hitting on me?” I whisper, but June just laughs and moves away to make a drink for someone. She seems to glide behind the bar. She’s moving constantly, never standing still. At first, I thought she was on roller-skates, but I think she’s just a very graceful person.

  “I like the way you trusted me,” Thorn says, whispering in my ear. He’s rubbing my thigh, but it doesn’t feel overpowering. I don’t feel smothered or like he’s pressuring me for anything. He’s just talking to me, and it’s kind of nice.

  “I’m not used to this. I’m not used to doing stuff like this. I mean, I’m just a daycare worker, you know? I work with little kids all day. I’m not exactly an experienced sex goddess.”

  “You could have fooled me. You seemed quite comfortable with being kissed and touched in public.”

  “It’s strange. I feel like I should be embarrassed, but I’m not.”

  “You should never be embarrassed, kitten.”

  “Why are you calling me kitten?”

  “Because when you came, you purred beautifully, like a sweet, sassy kitten.”

  “You don’t think I should be embarrassed I’m here?”

  “Not at all. I’m not embarrassed,” he reaches for his drink and finishes it. Then he motions for June to get us each another one, which she does with another wink and a bright smile.

  “Thank you for the drinks,” I tell him, trying to remember my manners. I have no idea what drinks cost here, and it’s really nice of him to pick them up. Unlike most guys, I don’t get the feeling Master Thorn has any sexual expectations. Even though we fooled around, I don’t think he’s going to ask me to come home with him. I don’t think he’d be mad or angry if I said no.

  “Of course. It’s my pleasure. Thank you for your company. Now tell me, why do you think you should be embarrassed?”

  “Because letting a stranger finger-fuck you in public isn’t very appropriate.”

  He lets out a laugh, and I have a feeling my vocabulary caught him off guard. Thorn just smiles, though. He doesn’t tell me to watch my language.

  “A lot of things aren’t appropriate. That doesn’t mean they’re not worth doing. It just means you need to learn not to care what people think.”

  I let his words sink in for a second and I think about my week. Do I care too much what people think? Somehow, everything in my life feels like a struggle right now. I’m always fighting my boss over the weekend hours. I’m always arguing for time off. I’m always trying to get my landlord to fix anything. I’m always feeling stressed, tired, exhausted.

  Maybe it’s time for me to not care so much about the things I can’t control and to start focusing on what I can control.

  Is it time for me to start focusing on myself?

  It sounds selfish, but is it, really?

  I wasn’t sure about coming out tonight, but I’m so glad I did. Spending time with Christina and Zack was nice. Spending time with Master Thorn was exquisite, though. Memorable. Perfect.

  “How do you, you know, come to terms with it?”

  “With kink?”

  “Yeah, I mean, I didn’t grow up in a really religious household, but my family was – is – conservative. How did you wrap your head around the fact that kink was okay? That it was enjoyable?”

  He chuckles again. Our drinks appear in front of us and I thank June, then wait for Master Thorn to respond to me.

  “I suppose after college, things changed for me. My girlfriend and I broke up and I started seeing new people. Polly and I had been dating since high school, so we’d both only been with each other. The girls I dated after were older, more experienced. Some of them wanted things I didn’t know how to give.”

  “They wanted to be spanked,” I say knowingly, like I’m the smartest woman in the world.

  “Spanked, tied up, teased. One girl in particular was really into being dominated. I didn’t know how to give her that, so she introduced me to some people and took me to some parties. That’s where I started learning how to dominate.” He looks thoughtful for a second. “That’s where I learned I am a Dominant, and I like to be with submissive partners.”

  “You weren’t scared to go to the parties?”

  “A little nervous, at first, but then I started to feel like it was my element. I started to feel like it was where I belonged.”

  “What happened next?”

  “Those relationships all ended, but I still craved dominance. The people I work with don’t know about this side of me.”

  “What kind of people do you work with?”

  “The conservative kind. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with being conservative. There’s not. It takes all kinds, but I think it’s important to keep an open mind when it comes to how you live your life. You shouldn’t shun something you don’t understand just because it seems inappropriate or strange to you.”

  “I guess I’m lucky to have some pretty understanding coworkers.” I think of Christina, and of her Dom, and of how incredible it really is that they invited me here.

  “This is your first time experimenting with kink,” Master Thorn says. “It’s normal to be a little nervous about everything, to feel a little unnerved.”

  I take a deep breath. “I feel better after talking,” I admit. “Thank you for taking the time to do that. You didn’t have to, but it means a lot to me.”

  Thorn smiles, and I know that I’m in trouble.

  He kisses me softly on the cheek, and he rubs my thigh, and I wonder if I’ll ever be able to go back to ordinary, normal, plain, boring vanilla relationships again.

  Chapter 6

  Thorn

  Staring at pages of writing all day hurts my eyes.

  Normally, it doesn’t.

  Normally, I’m happy to be the editor at Brand First: a full-service marketing and web design firm.

  Normally, I crave work.

  Today, all I’m craving is Lily.

  It’s been three days since I saw her.

  It’s been three days since I buried my fingers inside of her and felt her orgasm all over my hand.

  It’s been three days, and I haven’t talked to her.

  When Christina and Zack came back, they scurried her away rather quickly. She seemed flustered, almost embarrassed when they reappeared, and I wonder if I’ll ever see her again. I should have asked for her phone number, but instead, I slipped her my card.

  “Feel free to call me with any questions about BDSM, or even just to talk,” I told her. She smiled and took the card, but when our eyes met, I knew she wouldn’t be reaching out. For Lily, it was just a one-time thing. She wanted to put her foot in the water, to test things out. She wanted to see what the big deal was with submission, but she doesn’t think it’s for her.

  She’s wrong.

  There’s no doubt in my mind that Lily is completely, one hundred percent, totally submissive. She might not know it, or maybe she just doesn’t want to admit it, but she reacted to my words in a powerful way. She can’t deny that.

  I’ve met my fair share of submissive women, and Lily is one of them. She’s incredible, and she’s brave, but she’s still a little bit timid. I hope she comes back to the club and lets me play with her. I hope she decides to try again because she’s all I’ve been thinking about.

  My dick is sore from jerking off so much, but I can’t get her out of my head.

  “Hey,” Casey knocks as she
’s opening my door. “You have a minute?”

  “Anything for you,” I smile at one of the web designers. Casey is an expert in Python and one of the best employees we have. In addition to Python, she knows several other programming languages. This makes her absolutely essential to our company’s success.

  She heads the team of designers who are in charge of making sure each website we create looks incredible. There’s another team who creates content and another team who works with social media and marketing, but Casey’s team is unique and, I’m not afraid to say, without them, Brand First wouldn’t be what it is.

  She peers in.

  “Come on in,” I tell her, jerking my head toward the seats in front of my desk. Casey walks in, closing the door behind her. Her red hair is braided today and she’s wearing light makeup. We have a fairly casual dress code at Brand First, and Casey is wearing jeans with a button-down blouse. She looks professional, but adorable. “What can I do for you?”

  “Well,” Casey takes a seat in one of the chairs in front of me and immediately begins to fidget. My Dom senses start tingly immediately. This isn’t a work-related problem. This is personal. She closed the door, of course, but Casey isn’t exactly shy when it comes to solving problems at Brand First. If she’s got an issue with someone or something, she deals with it. She rarely comes to me unless there’s something seriously wrong.

  “Is everything okay?” I ask, even though I know it’s obviously not.

  “I have a problem,” she says with a heavy sigh. “A personal one. I know it’s totally inappropriate to come to you about this, but, well, you know…” Her voice trails off, and for a second, I think she’s going to flake out of asking my advice, but she seems to steel herself, and then she whispers. “There are rumors.”

  “Rumors?”

  “Yeah. I don’t really know who else to ask, and there are rumors around the office that you’re a Dominant.”

  “Is that right?”

  “You know, like in the bedroom.”

  “Yes,” I say dryly. “I know what a Dominant does, Casey. What’s your question?”

  “So it’s true, then?” She looks relieved. “Oh, good, because I was starting to feel like a complete asshole, you know, just coming in and asking about your sex life.”

  I soften my voice, “Casey, get to the point.”

  “My husband wants to experiment with BDSM and I don’t know what to do,” she says in a rush. “I completely freaked out when he brought it up, and now we’re fighting, and I know I reacted poorly. I just…I was just worried that I’m not enough, you know? I mean, I just had the baby and now I’m all flabby and not pretty anymore and I just feel like we’re drifting apart.”

  Casey bursts into tears, and I dart around the side of my desk and pull her to her feet. Then I wrap my arms around her while she cries against me. Casey is my employee, but I also consider her a friend, and when a friend needs me, I will do anything I can to help them.

  “First of all,” I say slowly, quietly, relieved that most of the office is at lunch right now. Nobody needs to hear what I’m about to tell her. “Never tell a Dominant you aren’t pretty. That’s rule number one, okay?”

  “Okay,” she sniffles, nodding her head against me.

  “Rule number two,” I pull back. “Honesty is everything. Have a seat, Casey.” She sits down and I grab a box of tissues. I hand it to her, and she blows her nose. Then I take a seat across from her. “You were honest when you told me how Trey’s request made you feel.”

  “Yeah,” she sniffles, nodding.

  “Casey, were you that honest with Trey when he brought this up?”

  She hesitates, and I know what her answer is going to be before she even says it.

  “No.” She whispers the word, like she can’t bear to say it out loud. “I didn’t.”

  “Why not? He was honest with you when he said he wanted to try something new. Don’t you think that must have been difficult, even embarrassing, for him to do?”

  “Well, I guess I didn’t think of that.”

  “What was your reaction when he brought this up to you?”

  “I sort of freaked out,” she admits, blushing.

  “Why? What’s wrong with BDSM, Casey?” I lean back in my seat, trying to look as non-threatening as possible. No, I’m not a therapist, but Casey doesn’t need a therapist right now. She needs a friend who is going to tell her to cut out the crap. She needs someone to push her to woman up and talk with Trey about this. She can’t hide behind her fear. Not when it comes to marriage. Not when it comes to having a long-term relationship.

  “I just don’t like the idea of it. It’s…abusive, right? Hitting people?”

  “Is that what you think BDSM is?”

  She nods, and I sigh.

  “BDSM gets a bad rap,” I explain. “People hear all the controversy surrounding certain books or comments people make, and they jump to conclusions about what it means. Yes, some people like to hit each other, but it’s not abusive. Pain, when administered appropriately, can lead to greater pleasure. Some people like a little bite of pain with sex, and some people just like pain in general. That’s fine. That’s not all there is to BDSM, though.”

  “What else is there?” Casey looks surprised. “I looked some stuff up on the Internet,” she shivers. “It freaked me out, Jax.”

  “BDSM can be whatever you want it to be, Casey. Yeah, some people are into hardcore stuff, but you and Trey can make it whatever you want. The most important element is open communication. With BDSM, you don’t get to hide your feelings or your thoughts from your partner. You have to talk to them, especially if you do decide to do something a little more hardcore. Did he tell you what he wants to try? Specifically?”

  “He talked about wanting to Dominate me, and maybe spanking. Um, he mentioned he wants to go to a club or a party sometime, like maybe…” She blushes. “Like maybe swinging, or having sex in front of other people.”

  “Okay, so it sounds like Trey is more interested in light BDSM. He’s like me. I love kink, Casey, but whipping isn’t really my thing. Blood play, piercing, water sports: none of those turn me on.”

  Casey nods, but she’s still fidgeting. There’s so much she needs to know, so much she doesn’t know, but she’s come to me with a problem, and I’m going to do everything in my power to help her.

  “Look,” I tell her. “The fact that Trey came to you is incredible. It means he trusts you to open up to you about this.”

  “Yeah, but I blew it. I totally freaked out. Even if I talk to him now, I’m sure it’s too late. He won’t want to try.”

  “It’s never too late. You reacted poorly, it sounds like, but if this is really something he’s interested in, something tells me Trey will be more patient with you than you think.”

  “You really believe that?” She raises an eyebrow.

  “I know it.”

  “How do you know it?”

  “Because I’m a Dom, too, and I’m going to help you.”

  “So the rumors are true,” she says.

  “You’ll have to fill me in on some of these rumors, but later. First things first: you need to apologize to your husband. Text him now.”

  “Now? But he’s at work.”

  “Text him. Tell him you’ve been doing some thinking about what he said and you want to talk tonight, just the two of you.”

  “But what about the baby?”

  “Put the baby to bed in her own room, Casey. I know you’re into co-sleeping, but you guys are parents now, and this is your life. You’re going to have to find ways to be alone in order to make your marriage work. Your child is important, but so is Trey. I’m not telling you not to co-sleep. I’m telling you not to do it tonight. Take some time, even just an hour, and spend it with him.”

  She pulls out her phone and stares at it, then types out a quick, short message.

  “Now,” I tell her. “Tell him you can’t wait to get on your knees and suck his cock tonight.”
<
br />   “What?” She screeches. “Jaxson! I can’t do that!”

  “Do it,” I say, using my Dom voice. “Or you’re fired.”

  “What the hell? You cannot fire me, Jaxson Thorn. You don’t have the authority.”

  I stare at her, waiting her out. If there’s one thing I’ve learned since joining Anchored, it’s that patience is the way to getting what you want: for Doms and subs. People really underestimate its value, which is a pity.

  I love getting what I want, and other people should be able to achieve their dreams, too.

  Finally, Casey shakes her head, looks at her phone again, and types out a message. She’s bright red, so I know she’s actually doing it.

  “Okay. What now?”

  “Now, you’re going to take the rest of the day off. You’re going to go home, take a bath, and read these.” I pull a couple of books from the bottom drawer of my desk and hand them to her.

  “You just have these in your desk?”

  “You’d be surprised what’s in my desk, love.”

  Casey takes the books and nods.

  “Thank you. I’m sorry I just barged in here and freaked out. I guess I have a lot to learn about this stuff and a lot of thinking to do.”

  “We all have to start somewhere. Just remember that Trey is asking you to try something new with him. He’s not asking for a promise or a commitment. He’s not asking you to be his personal sex slave. He’s just asking you to explore something new with him.”

  “That’s such a good way of looking at this. I wish…I wish I’d talked to you sooner,” she shakes her head. “I’ve been really struggling with this and I just didn’t know what to do. I guess I was offended when he came to me, like I thought he didn’t think I was good enough for him.”

  “Trust me when I tell you that you’re beautiful, Casey. You’ve got beautiful curves and a gorgeous smile. Trey is a very lucky man.”

  She bites her bottom lip, and I think of Lily. I wonder if she’d be willing to give me the same shot I’m asking Casey to give Trey. She seemed adamant that submission wasn’t for her, but I’m sure she’d like it.

  She just needs the right partner.

  “Thank you,” Casey says again. “I’ll go home and I’ll read and I’ll talk to Trey. I feel a lot better now. I shouldn’t have panicked. You’re right.”